


Tomorrow Is Never Promised

by elloteenah



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, Or OITNB or Wentworth depending on where you're from, Please read any warnings in the notes for subjects discussed, This is Emmerdale meets Bad Girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23496451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elloteenah/pseuds/elloteenah
Summary: Short story AU. Convicted of a crime she didn't commit, Vanessa finds herself inside the walls of HMP Skipdale. She must fend for herself if she wants to get out alive. What happens when she meets fellow prisoner, convicted murderer and Top Dog, Charity Dingle?
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 24
Kudos: 160





	1. Grey Is The New Green

**Author's Note:**

> What do you get when you let me loose with a pen, paper and a laptop? The Vanity Prison AU that no one asked for.
> 
> I love a bit true crime and let's be real, half of Emmerdale would be in jail if it wasn't a fictional soap.
> 
> So get ready for ten chapters of drama, backstories, girls kissing girls, female friendships and inappropriate jokes/comments.
> 
> WARNINGS: brief mention of drugs

“ _Will you ever see the day_

_Heartache leads astray_ ” 

— See The Day

* * *

She had seen this many times before in television shows and in movies but never did she think she would know what it felt like. 

The van doors opened and Ms Vanessa Elizabeth Woodfield, still in her court clothes and hands chuffed behind her back, was handled out by officers. 

_Guilty!_

Like the scenes she had scene, exiting the vehicle felt like slow motion, she squinted at the sunlight rays as she looked up at the gates to her new living arrangements. 

_Take her down!_

Her cries echoed in her mind as she was led towards them. 

Behind her followed Mrs Moira Dingle, convicted along with her. 

Both protested their innocence. Moira had relied on a man, Nate, she had just recently hired to buy new pigs for the farm she owned. The buyers were insistent when loading off she take the food they offered. She hadn’t thought to question it. It was only when opening the bags to put in the pigs feeders, she noticed little bags of white powder. 

She quickly questioned Nate if he knew anything and he admitted his guilt but told her they had to keep quiet about it, it was only a favour for a mate. She had agreed to keep his secret but it cost him his job. She wanted no part in it. 

It was hours later when Moira noticed one of the pigs had fallen unwell. She had rushed it to the local vets, where Vanessa worked, for an emergency appointment. She found drugs that had ruptured in its stomach. It was when the police entered following day to find Moira trying to convince Vanessa not to go to the station, explaining it was all one big misunderstanding that the pair were arrested on suspicion of bringing illegal substances into the country. 

_You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do say something you later rely on in court, anything you do say may be used in evidence._

Vanessa still didn’t know how she got here. She put it down to her nervous demeanour. The court did not take pity on her and Vanessa felt emotionally groomed during her questioning. 

_Are you sure you didn’t plant the drugs, Ms Woodfield? The sweet and innocent act won’t wash with me!_

She cried as her sentence was read out. 

_Twelve months!_

It wasn't a life changing sentence but it was enough to change Vanessa’s life. She had never been in trouble with the police before, not like this. 

But this was it, she was lead through the gates, subjected to humiliating searches and told to kiss her old life goodbye. 

* * *

After she had gone through the introduction process, Dominic McAllister, her own personal officer, introduced to her cell and cell block. Luckily for her, she and Moria had been split. Police still had suspicions they were working as a double act and separated them for safety reasons.

Vanessa wanted nothing more to do with the woman again. She was never going to go back to her profession ever again after this.

She’d go back to her awful green vet coat than the itchy grey tracksuit she’d been given in a heartbeat. At least she could wear whatever she liked underneath it. Whereas now she had two of the same loungewear to last her her sentence. 

Like orange is the new black for most, grey was the new green for Vanessa. 

In her block, five women were the first to greet her. She took it as a good sign.

“Hey, Dom!” half of them were quick to shout when they entered.

“Hello, Ladies,” he nodded. “This is Vanessa, she will be your new roommate. If you could all make her feel welcome.”

First was Kerry, what appeared as someone who was loud and confident. Spoke with a Geordie accent and had a firm handshake. She had a friendly face, like someone you could have a laugh with. The kind of girl Vanessa knew she’d enjoy a night out with. 

Then there was Liv, she was much quieter. So young, Vanessa guessed she couldn’t be much older than eighteen and wondered what she was going in prison at such an age and what for. She was shy, quick to sit back down and bury herself in her book. 

Jessica got up and give her a hug, much to the blonde’s surprise. She told her she can call her Jessie. Very friendly, inviting. She radiated a warmth that told Vanessa this was one of the good ones, like the aunt of the group. 

Brenda took her back, her voice was like velvet in a way you would think she had a job as a therapist and was very good at her job, friendly, made her clients feel safe but in their current setting, Vanessa felt there was a dark secret with the older lady. The kind of character in the shows she would be gripped to find out the backstory of.

“And this is, Diane,” McAllister said lastly. “She will be your mentor. Any questions you have, talk to her. It’s her job to show you around, I trust you’ll be just fine with her.”

Another friendly face. Clearly the mother of the group. Probably been in years, Vanessa guessed. Hairstyle that been around since the eighties, reminded her of her own mother’s. 

“Hello there, love,” she said. “Welcome to Skipdale!” 

“Aye!” Kerry snapped her fingers. “Can’t skip this place, am I right?”

There was a collective groan. 

“Kerry, that’ll never be funny,” Liv responded before she picked up the magazines in front of her and left the table. 

“Ignore her,” Diane looked at Kerry before she put a hand on Vanessa’s shoulder, then taking her basket of belongings from her. “Let me show you to your room.” 

* * *

Diane had given Vanessa the lowdown on what happens day to day—breakfast, lunch and dinner times, best times to shower, what’s expected of her and given her a quick tour of the cell block. She told her most nights her group of friends played cards in the evening and she was welcome to play if she felt up to it. 

When it was announced the outside yard was open, Diane took her out for fresh air, figured Vanessa could use it. 

It was there Vanessa realised what she was in. Different groups of people where huddled together in groups and conversation. Women of different shapes and sizes, some with many tattoos of varied taste, those who clearly looked like addicts and those you wouldn’t expect should be here. But looks can be deceiving, God knew she was being looked at in the same way. She could tell people were looking at her as if they knew she was a university graduate when more than half of the women in there had hardly done a day of schooling. 

“Don’t worry about it, love,” Diane told her. “It’s because you’re new, they’ll stop eventually.” 

Vanessa swallowed the lump in her throat.

* * *

_Attention, the canteen is now open. Food will be served between now and six p.m. I repeat, that’s between now and six p.m._

Diane and Brenda had kindly shown Vanessa to the dining area. She knew the food was hardly going to be something to rave about but was surprised by the amount of selection. Not that she was given much choice as the women behind the counters, faces like death, slopped whatever was on their ladles onto Vanessa’s tray. She didn’t argue, she was too scared to above anything else. 

She joined Liv and Jessie at the table after they gestured her over, following Diane and Brenda. 

The other women didn’t seem to mind what they were eating whereas Vanessa pushed around what looked like mince in gravy with her fork before deciding she would just eat the bread roll and sweetcorn she was given. 

‘It’s really not that bad,” Jessie said, pointing to the blonde’s food. “You’ll get you to it.”

Vanessa just nodded.

Jessie smiled. “So, how are you—“

Before she could finish, the room of diners were taken back by the sound of the canteen door being flung open, all their head raising like meerkats. 

In walked what only could be described as prison’s version of Mean Girls. Leading the pace was a fierce looking blonde then, following behind her, a much older woman and two others about the same age as the leader with faces like tigers ready to pounce at any sign of trouble.

They fought their way to the front of the food line, a snap of the fingers from the black haired one was enough to make the queue split. Then the other one, with eyebrows that Vanessa was silently jealous of, shouted at a table to move. And they did. Vanessa couldn’t believe it was that easy. It reminded her of school, like when the popular girl wanted something and she got it. 

The top dog ordered them to sit and eat, palming her tray off onto one of them, before she clocked Vanessa, a smile forming on her face as she headed to their table. 

“Is this the new girl?” she kissed her lips at Diane. “I hear you’re in for beastiality.” 

“Charity!” Brenda hissed. 

Vanessa’s eyes went wide.

“What? It’s a valid question. Aren’t you a vet?” Charity leaned her weight onto the table. “What was it, goldilocks? Three bears?”

Vanessa shook her head. She kept her head down, afraid to meet the other blonde’s eyes. She could hear the laughs of the other women over her shoulder.

“Now! Come on!” Diane intervened. “Charity, don’t embarrass her like this.”

“She’ll come out with it eventually.” Charity said. “Anyway, you can call me Charity. I run this place, okay? Those are my girls over there.”

Vanessa looked up to see where she was pointing.

“That one is Lisa. If you need anything, she’s the one to go to. Debbie is my daughter, you mess with her, you mess with me. My advice is: don’t. You look after us, I’ll look after you is my motto,” she smiled. “And that, think chihuahua. Her name is Chastity, though she’s anything but. Poor love doesn’t get much in here, though. Got it?”

“Got it,” Vanessa quickly swallowed. 

Charity pushed herself away without effort before swirling her finger in the air like she was going to gather a crowd. “And this is my kitchen.”

“Not that she ever fucking cooks, mind!” Chas shouted.

“Shut your mouth!” Charity snapped at her then turned her attention back to Vanessa. “I just know what my girls like to eat.”

She winked at Vanessa, clicking her tonguebefore rejoining her girls. Vanessa watched her, mesmerised while terrified at the same time. 

“Charity’s top dog, okay?” Diane told her. “Just follow her rules and you’ll be okay.”

* * *

Sitting in a cell all day really was boring, Vanessa realised. It took the saying ‘I’d rather watch paint dry’ to a whole new level. She wished she could paint the walls to make the place feel more homely and then watching it dry would bring her joy. Staring at four grim walls made her think, made her wish they would cave in and swallow her up; take her back to her old life. 

She figured she needed to do something. She stepped out, hoping to see someone. She had questions she needed answering anyway and she wasn’t doing to find them in her own thoughts.

“Hey, Vanessa!” Liv spotted her first, waving from her place at the table. She motioned her over. Maybe she could help.

“Is it Liv?” Vanessa said quietly as she took a sit opposite. It was going to take her a while to remember everyone’s names. 

The youngster nodded before she looked down back at her notes. She sighed, carelessly tapping her pen against her head, hoping it’ll bring the answer to her.

“What you got there?” Vanessa asked, noticing Liv was surrounded by paperwork and clearly struggling. 

“Homework.”

“Anything I can help you with?”

Vanessa wouldn’t say she was the brightest student when she was at school but she had solid grades and left above the average but she worked hard for it. 

“No, it’s alright,” she said, admitting defeat and collecting her papers together. “I’ve been at it for ages now.”

“Maybe you should take a break and come back to it later,” Vanessa suggested. “You’ll come back to it later and maybe it’ll be easier.”

Liv rolled her eyes. 

“Good thinking! Can’t believe I didn’t think of that!” She clapped her hands together before putting everything away into her folder. “You’re not the first one to tell me.”

“Sorry,” Vanessa apologised. She didn’t mean to upset her. She just wanted to help. She thought maybe that’s why Liv called her over, obviously not. 

“No, I’m sorry,” Liv sighed. “I can be a bit impulsive. Everyone tells me to take a break everyday butif I keep taking breaks then I’m never going to pass my exams, am I? And I need them or I’m truly fucked when I get out of here.”

“Is there no one that can help?”

“Jessie helps me but she has to work, too, so,” Liv shrugged her shoulders. “So, sometimes I have to try do it myself but that’s when I struggle.”

Vanessa understood. She gave her a reassuring smile. “Well, I’m here if you ever need someone else. It’ll give me something to do and I passed English and Maths.”

“Thank you,” Liv grinned back. 

Already she was learning Vanessa was one of the good people who doesn’t deserve to be locked up. 

“Anyway, where you looking for someone?” Liv asked, pointing up to the older blonde’s cell. “You looked like you were after something when you came out which is why I called you.”

“I did actually,” Vanessa swallowed. “I wanted to ask you about Charity. Diane said she was ‘top dog’, what does she mean by that?”

Of course Vanessa knew what it meant from her years of watching crime shows but still, she needed to hear it from somebody else.

“She’s boss,” Liv said bluntly. “You have a problem, you go to Charity. You cause a problem, it goes to Charity.”

“Okay,” Vanessa nodded. “And what about the other women around her? She called them family?”

“Because they are. They’re all cousins. Expect Debbie, she’s her daughter.”

“What’s she in for?”

Liv cocked her head. “I’m not entirely sure. I’m not sure anybody knows.”

“So, what, they’re just her entourage?”

“Yeah,” Liv replied. “We call her lot her Mean Girls because all they do is bitch but Charity doesn’t know that.”

“Do you reckon I just stay clear of Charity?” she asked, looking down at her hands.

“Good luck doing that, she knows everyone’s every move but yes, just stay out of her way.”

Vanessa nodded. That’s all she needed to know. 

* * *

She had heard that the first night was always the worst, Diane confirming those rumours hadn’t made it any easier. 

The women in her block offered her a place in their game of cards but Vanessa declined. It had been a long day and she knew getting a night’s rest wasn’t going to be an easy ride. 

She opted to sleep on top of the covers. Getting ready for bed had a different meaning now. Vanessa doesn’t want to make the hard plank of—what even was it, metal? Concrete like the floor? Vanessa didn’t know, nor did she want to. The rough piece of foam they call a mattress, the sound of water dripping and made up shelves that matched the walls to feel like home. 

She tucked her legs up under her, arms wrapped tight around a pillow that felt nothing like the privilege she didn’t realise she had back in Emmerdale until now, using it like a child to a teddy bear, her protector. As if when she woke up in the morning it was all just a bad dream and that pillow was in fact the person of her dreams and she was living a perfectly, healthy family life in the job she loved before it landed her in this place. 

She squeezed her eyes shut, a single tear falling onto her protector. She couldn’t let them hear her, she couldn’t let them know she was struggling. She knew the other women looked her like fresh meat when she entered, some ready to see how they could use her, because that is what she had seen in the shows. They abuse the weak. She couldn’t let that show. Although she believed there is good in this prison, she needed to be strong, do her time and get out. 

Don’t make friends, don’t make enemies and don’t make HMP Skipdale feel like a second home. 

As she listened to the shouting of other inmates that wasn’t going to end anytime soon and the slamming and locking of gates, it dawned on Vanessa. 

This was it.

This was her life now. 


	2. Tipping The Velvet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to apologise straight of the bat for the title. There was no better option and in typical prison-based dramas, this had to be done. 
> 
> WARNINGS: Mention of dismemberment but nothing graphic?

“A _in’t seen nothing_

_’Til you’re down on a muffin,_

_And I’m sure I can change your ways_ ”

— Walk This Way (ft Sugababes)

* * *

_I could still hear them. The voices. The shouting, screaming, sound of banging on walls. I could hear it all and they were getting closer, and closer until it was like they all crawling into my ear._

**_You’re never getting out._ **

**_You’re in here forever, bitch._ **

**_What, did you think we were going to go easy on you?_ **

**_Hey, honey, you need something?_ **

**_Don’t drop the soap._ **

**_What are you even doing in here?_ **

_I tired to fight them off, pushing them off, clawing at their faces through the darkness but I’m in chains, chained down to the bed, ankles and wrists alike._

**_You’re never getting out._ **

_It’s all I can hear:_ **_never_ ** _,_ **_never_ ** _,_ **_never_ ** _,_ **_never_ ** _._

_I try to scream but nothing comes out. I can hear rain outside is getting heavier, the cold sounds of wind hitting the droplets on my tiny window adding to the deafening. the walls are closing in and I am defenceless, my breathing quickens as the voices leave me and I’m left in a shrinking box._

_No one can hear me._

_I’m alone._

**_You’re never getting out._**

“No!” 

Vanessa woke up in a start, throwing her whole body forward. Still clinging to the pillow from last night, this time causing a discomfort against the fabric of the night shirt she had sweated through. 

Her blonde locks clung to her damp forehead. She tried to regulate her breathing as she came to her senses. 

It was all a dream. _Thank God_ , she thought. Then reality hit her. Prison was her reality. It hadn’t been a dream so to speak, she was locked in a cell but she was alone, there was no one there to get her. 

She had survived her first night. Just about. 

Sunlight was breaking through the window, but she had no idea of the time. She could hear laughter from outside so assumed it was safe to leave her cell. 

She knew she needed a shower, so she grabbed the toiletry bag and towel the guards had given her the night before before emerging into the downstairs communal area.

Brenda was the first to greet her, she looked up from her newspaper. “Good morning, love. Did you sleep okay?”

“Um,” Vanessa swallowed, her eyes scanning for Diane. “Yeah, fine, thanks.” 

“That’s good, then,” she smiled.

Vanessa nodded in hopes it covered her nervousness before asking a question. “Have you seen Diane?”

“I think she’s still in her cell, love,” Brenda said, this time not looking up from her readings. 

Vanessa noticed as she walked behind the older lady, she was reading an article on adopting homeless cats. That soft voice of hers still made her uncomfortable. She needed to find out what she was in for, she knew women like that weren’t in for the wrong reasons. 

As she passed through the crowds, it unsettled Vanessa seeing everyone acting like they were teachers in a staff room before the school day starts. Some where making themselves hot drinks, others playing games and those engaged in conversation. The noise was no different, almost like the building had an echo. This was everyone’s daily lives, they weren’t scared of the place, they had made friends and families in home for criminals because it’s all they can do to survive, to remain sane and pass the time. 

She knocked on Diane’s door lightly, frightened she was waking her. 

“Come in!” the voice said. 

Vanessa pushed the day open to see Diane in a rocking chair in the corner of her cell. She was knitting what looked like a jumper. The woman had talent, it was stripped of different colours and she watched Vanessa enter the room, not needing to look at what she was doing because she was what would class against her own skills as a professional. 

“Do you like it?” Diane asked, holding up what she had done so far so Vanessa could see. It was a mixture of light and dark purple and pink, clearly made for a little girl of about three, not much younger than her own son, Johnny. 

It reminded her she needed to find out when she got phone privileges, make sure he was okay. Her father, Frank, was currently his sole carer and she was already scared after one night he was asking where Mummy had done. 

“It’s beautiful,” Vanessa smiled. 

“Thank you,” Diane returned the smile. “It’s for my daughter. She loves purple. It’s her favourite colour, you know.” 

Vanessa cocked an eyebrow. The woman had to at least be in her sixties. She assumed Diane meant it was for her daughter to give to a granddaughter but she wasn’t about to question it because it wasn’t her place to. She had only been here a day and didn’t want to say the wrong thing. No enemies, remember. and Diane was her mentor, she needed to be on her good side. 

“Anyway,” Diane put her knitting down on the floor, tucked it best she could under her chair before getting up. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Yes,” Vanessa was quick to reply. “I need a shower. Can you help me? Find them, that is.”

She knew she needed to watch what she said. She once watched a documentary about homosexuality in prisons. She wasn’t against it in any way, she would openly admit she had a drunken kiss with a girl back at university once. What Vanessa wouldn’t admit is she wanted to know what it felt like sober. 

But she didn’t know who she was talking to yet, she didn’t know Diane’s preferences and didn’t want to give anyone the wrong of the stick. She was straight. She had a son. 

“Of course,” Diane clapped her hands together before leading Vanessa out of her cells and through the hallways to the washrooms. “How did you settle last night.”

“Best I could, I suppose,” Vanessa sighed. “I got there eventually.”

“That’s good, pet,” Diane replied as they turned the corner. 

Vanessa passed faces she hadn’t seen yet, she caught a few of them look her up and down. She couldn’t tell what their intentions where, if any at all. Fresh blood was enough for her to quicken her steps.

Of course she knew not everyone had faces out of nightmares but why was it anyways the ones in the hallways who looked the most patronising?

Diane pulled her back, sensing her nerves. 

“Breathe, Vanessa,” she said, gripping her shoulders and pulling her into a half-hug to settle her.

Not long after, they arrived at the shower block. Vanessa clenched her towel closer to her chest when a group of burly-looking women with their arms folded gave her the once over. She tensed up.

“What did I just tell you?” Diane whispered, pushing her towards the door.

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you,” one of them said. 

Diane scoffed. “They’re trying to scare you. Go on in, love.”

Nothing could have prepared Vanessa for what she saw. 

Her eyes landed on the sight of one of Skipdale’s most notorious couples. 

Ali’s naked back was pressed to the metal sinks while Ruby was kneeled with her head between her thighs, one hand gripped tight in her curls. 

Vanessa’s surprised exclamation was enough to break them apart. 

Diane, clearly used to the lewdness, told them to grow up before ushering Vanessa out the room, before she could take in anymore of the scene that unfolded in front of her.

Safe to say, neither Ruby or Ali moved.

“Told you, you dumb bitch,” the same inmate from only ten minutes ago said to them as they exited. 

“Sorry you had to witness that,” Diane said as Vanessa rushed them back to their block. “But you’re going to have to get used to it.”

* * *

“The showers aren’t that bad now, come on…,” Kerry said when she saw Vanessa. She threw her arms in the air before Diane swatted her. 

“You alright, Vanessa, love?” Brenda asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost…”

Diane ushered the blonde to the table in the centre of the room where her friends were sitting, a supportive grip on her shoulders. Vanessa had her jumper sleeve ends covering her hands, between clenched firsts, her body visibly uncomfortable. 

“She’s, um,” Diane swallowed, making sure she was sat down before joining her and continuing, “just seen Ali and Ruby… in the showers, if you get me.”

Liv snorted, hiding her smile behind her hand when Vanessa looked up at her. 

Brenda reached her hand over the table and gave Vanessa’s hand a quick squeeze. “You’re going to see a lot of that. Shall we say, tipping the velvet.”

Vanessa was no prude to female relationships. She had seen the BBC dramas, one of which’s title was that of what Brenda had said. She didn’t watch them at the time but she knew if there was catch-up TV then, she might have been tempted to watch it when she was alone. 

“Never really seen the appeal myself,” Brenda said, bluntly. 

“Aye,” Kerry nudged Vanessa’s arm. “At least now you know that’s not why she killed him.”

“Kerry!” Diane shouted. 

The blonde’s head shot up, her eyes widening. “Excuse me?”

“There’s no need for this now,” Diane tried to reassure her. 

“It’s okay,” Brenda spoke softly.

Vanessa swallowed. She wasn’t scared, she knew if Brenda was any danger she wouldn’t be amongst everybody. But she couldn’t stop the curiosity. 

“Is that why you’re in here?”

“Yes,” Brenda breathed out. “It was a moment of weakness. I caught him cheating. I couldn’t stop myself.”

“Neither could Bob!” Kerry laughed.

Diane’s jaw stiffened. “Kerry, I swear to God. Stop it.”

“He wasn’t a bad man. He wasn’t a great man either but I could have avoided being in here if I had just divorced him,” Brenda smiled. “Learn from me, love. A man isn’t worth it.”

Vanessa smiled back. 

“So, who fancies a game of cards before we’re banished for the night?” Liv said, pulling a deckfrom her pocket. 

“Ladies!” 

A male figure stands over them, hands on his belt. Vanessa recognised him as the man who helped her to her cell, she smiled nervously. 

“Hey, Domo,” Kerry shouted. “What you got for us?”

“Just want to let you ladies know you have until ten to play your little game and it’s lights out,” he said.

“Okay, sir,” she nodded at him. 

McAllister smiled before heading down the hall to other inmates. It was then, following his line that Vanessa saw Charity leaning against the wall, playing with loose ends of her hair and talking to Chas. She looked down again before the blonde could notice her. 

“Never mind the cards, Liv,” Kerry whistled. “I would like to deck him.” 

Liv turned her nose up. “That made no sense.” 

“Liv, will you lighten up. Can you not appreciate he has a great arse? Look at it in them trousers!” she pointed out to him. “What I wouldn’t give to see the Dick to his Dom.”

“Alright, Kerry,” Jessie, herself having heard enough, said. “We know. He’s gorgeous but let’s not.”

“Everyday I hope he’s on the breakfast menu,” Kerry almost groaned, her sexual frustration clear to the other women who didn’t wish to share her pain. “What do you think, Ness? Like a bit of McArse-ter? You’re the lucky one, getting him as your personal officer.”

“Um, he’s alright, I guess.” 

She couldn’t deny that. He was an attractive man but Vanessa, being just over five foot herself never saw the attraction in men who, although nicely built, had faces that looked fresh out of college. Although, Vanessa had been told she doesn’t look her own years, she wouldn’t want to be with a man who could pass for her teenage son. No matter how blue his eyes were.

“Alright? Christ, girl, I’d almost think what you saw today has already turned you,” Kerry scoffed. “

Vanessa stayed silent. She didn’t quite know how to respond to that. Luckily, Liv changed the subject. 

“Are we playing cards or not?”

* * *

Brenda wasn’t lying. 

She had been convicted of aggravated torture and mayhem against her then-husband, Bob, back in 1998.

Vanessa had read about cases like it in her women’s magazines but never thought she would come face-to-face with one. 

Usually triggered by jealousy or adultery, it was exactly what Brenda had done. 

She came home that faithful day to catch Bob, in her own words: “stuffing all he’s got in that slut from the sweet shop” when she saw red.

She ordered the woman out of her house and as the argument got more and more heated, she left the room for air. 

It wasn’t the first time Brenda had learned he’d been unfaithful and she had forgiven him. She had forgiven him multiple times for the sake of their kids but he didn’t care about them when he was getting a quick thrill, didn’t care if it would break up his family. Mainly because he knew he would get away with it.

But not this time, she had been walked over for the final time. 

When she returned to the bedroom to tell him it was over, she was angered to see he had fallen asleep, just like that in his naked sake. That’s how much he cared—he didn’t.

Something in her snapped. She went to the kitchen to retrieve the largest knife they owned, and like that, she ridded him of the cause. 

She remembered how he woke up, screaming and she felt nothing. If anything, she smiled. She made sure to call the police while he lay there, in pain and confused by what had happened so he knew he would be found. She felt her kids deserved to know that, and she wasn’t to be messed with.Then, she left, taking the knife and his severed genitalia with her. 

In court, when the judge said police managed to find the discharged member but where unable to reattached it due to loss of blood, resulting in his death, she smiled. She was described as a cold blooded killer and she enjoyed it. Finally, she had done something for herself, she was feared. 

Now she spends her days in the prison, speaking with other women about unfaithful husbands and those who committed a crime because a crime had been committed to them. 

In her eyes, she had done the right thing. It was one less bad man in this world. 

It taught Vanessa more about something she already knew: a majority of women’s were filled because of actions provoked by men, yet they were still obsessed with them. 

* * *

The women said their goodnights not long after their game. Officers left, right and centre were ushering the prisoners into their cell. The shouting had begun. Those refusing to give up their fun, others screaming profanity about being treated like animals. 

Vanessa kept her arms close to her chest as she walked to her own cell. 

“Vanessa?” 

Vanessa was stopped outside her door. There, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, was Moira, a pained expression on her face. 

“Can we talk?” she asked. 

“What do you want?” Vanessa whispered. “Now isn’t the time, we’re suppose to be going to bed.”

“Give over, they’ll be ages yet,” Moira tutted, turning to face the blonde. “How are you getting on in here?”

“Fine,” Vanessa said bluntly. She went to move into her room but Moria was quick to her movement and stopped her, blocking her way with her arm on the frame. Vanessa sighed. 

“I’ve seen you’re making friends in here but you can’t avoid me forever, Ness,” she tried to meet her eyes. “It was an accident. I didn’t know they were in there! You’ve got to believe me—”

Vanessa clenched her jaw. “I don’t have to believe anything you say. I told, I’m here to do my time and get out. That means don’t talk to me.”

“Vanessa…” 

Moira reached for the blonde’s shoulder, this time she was quick to react and pushed it away. 

“I mean it,” she said. “We need to keep our distance.”

That night, Vanessa cried herself to sleep. 


	3. Tiny Blonde Rocket Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again with a cheesy and predictable chapter title but I can't not include some Vanity history into this. 
> 
> Just want to say thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments on here and on my Tumblr about this, I really appreciate it! 
> 
> WARNINGS: mentions of violence and I do talk about racial discrimination in chapter and why I use no slurs, I mean no harm or offence by anything mentioned in this chapter. Also, for that reason, if there is anything I get majorly wrong, please feel free to call me out on it and I will amend it. I am purely going off my own knowledge of the subject and things I have read online.
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy!

“ _So think before you bite me_

_How you gonna get back home?_ ”

— Long Hot Summer

* * *

“Dad!” 

Vanessa didn’t care about any looks she got as she rushed into her Dad’s arms. She clung onto his leather jacket. It smelled like home, a reminder of what she was missing. 

Weeks had passed and the minute she had been given her phone privileges, she had phoned him at every given opportunity, sometimes just to hear his voice. 

It had been too long since she had last seen him. Between working and being the legal guardian to her son, Frank didn’t have much time to visit his daughter. 

She, too, had been keeping herself busy. She had been assigned a job in the laundrette. It was okay, it kept her mind off family for a couple of hours and gave her some form of normality. She also got to work with Jessie so that was an added bonus. She had grown close to her recently, she was easy to talk to. She also had a family so she understood what it’s like to be away from them, not that Vanessa was telling anyone about her personal life yet. 

He had noticed a difference in her. She looked tired, worn down but like she was coping. The woman he knew took pride in her appearance, this one was makeup-less with her hair in low pony tail. He supposed there wasn’t much use bothering in a prison. He could see the strength and determination for life he had tried to install in her as as a child was disappearing before his eyes.But her blue eyes still lit up when she saw him and he welcomed the hug with open arms. 

“Hey,” Frank whispered into her hair. 

They sat opposite each other, separated by a wooden table. 

“How is he?” Vanessa asked lowly, her eyes flickered around the room before picking at the skin on her hands. “Johnny.”

Frank noticed and placed his hands over hers, stopping her actions. “He’s fine. Tracy’s taken him to soft play.” 

_Something I should be doing_ , she thought. 

“He’s none the wiser, Teeny. You know he thinks you’ve gone somewhere to get better,” Frank said. 

“Does he even miss me?” Vanessa whispered, her eyes avoided his. 

“Of course he does!” Frank squeezed her hand. “We talk about you every night. He knows you’re coming home really soon.”

Vanessa scoffed. “Not soon enough.”

“Well, do you want me to see if he can visit?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “No!” 

“Okay, okay,” Frank moved away from her, shaking his head. “I just thought, maybe…”

“You thought wrong!” Vanessa said through gritted teeth. “You never bring him in here, you understand?” 

“Okay,” he swallowed. “Vanessa, are you okay in here? Is something happening? Do I need to talk to the officers?”

“No!” 

He didn’t have a clue. Even if she was in trouble, she wouldn’t ask him to tell on her. You don’t do that here. She only hoped she never needed his help. She’s seen the dodgy deals people do to survive or rid of enemies. 

“”I just need you to call, visit, whatever you can do,” the blonde held onto her father’s hands again. “I need to know you guys are okay. You need to make sure Johnny doesn’t hate me.” 

“Never!” Frank protested. “I wanted to give you something though.”

He reached into his coat pocket, an officer was quick to eye him but he raised his hands nervously and showed him the folded up photograph he was holding. The officer nodded. 

“Here you go,” he passed it to Vanessa.

She opened it to see it was a picture of herself, him, Tracy and Johnny smiling for the camera. She knew exactly where it was taken: in the garden of some old-style pub Vanessa had found to take Frank for his sixty-fifth birthday. He made a fuss he didn't want a big party to celebrate, just his family around him because that's what mattered most. 

“Megan found it on her phone. She thought maybe it would bring you some comfort,” he smiled. 

She smiled, running her finger over Johnny’s face. “I love it. Thank you.”

Vanessa folded it up enough to tuck under her sleeve. 

* * *

She found the time went too quickly. Frank promised he would come again as soon as he could. She thought about calling her sister, Tracy, to see if she would visit but she didn’t want to see the disappointment in her face. She knew their dad had told her everything, she’d also seen it in court but face to face was different. She didn't want to hear it about how she was meant to be the golden child, even in her forties. 

She thought of Tracy as she walked back to her cell. At least she could rely on her to be a great auntie to Johnny. 

As much as she thought about him when she lay alone in her cell, she didn’t allow herself to cry. If she did cry, she wouldn’t stop. Someone would see her red, puffy eyes in the morning. Weakness. Do. Not. Show. Especially not to Charity and her Mean Girls crew. 

But she couldn’t help herself when she reached her cell. When she saw there was no one around, she closed the door and ran to her bed. 

She weeped into her pillow for a moment before she pulled the photograph from her sleeve.

Their happy faces where something she wasn’t a part of. It made her want to cry harder but nothing came out, she let her silent sobs and tears rest in her pillow. She clawed at it, hoping it would ease the pain she was feeling. 

Vanessa rolled onto her back, clutching the picture to her chest.

She doesn’t know how long she stared at the ceiling for, hot tears falling down her cheeks. 

When she heard the sounds of conversation outside get louder, she quickly wiped her eyes and shoved the picture under her pillow. 

She made quick work to the mirror to make sure she looked okay before leaving her cell before anyone could find her. 

“Oh, hello, love,” Brenda said. “We were just coming to look for you.”

“Yeah,” Liv smiled. “How did your visit go?” 

Vanessa nodded, she kept her head low, hugging onto her own body. 

“Is everything okay?” Brenda asked, putting a supportive hand on Vanessa’s shoulder. She tried to meet her eyes.

Vanessa had always been a sensitive one to kindness, Brenda’s touch was enough to trigger her and she couldn’t stop her voice from cracking and a fresh tear from falling. 

“Oh, darling!”

Brenda was quick to elope her into a hug. “Come on. It’s okay.”

She along with Liv and Jessie walked her back into her cell. They made sure she didn’t leave again until she was okay.

* * *

Once she felt okay again, the women took Vanessa to the canteen for lunch. 

They had a laugh. Vanessa was beginning to see there was good people amongst the madness. Each took it in turns to tell a story about good times about their lives before prison, nothing personal but just anything that would take Vanessa’s mind off what had upset her. 

She didn’t exactly tell them what had upset her. They guessed seeing her dad for the first time in a while was hard. She had told them he was coming to visit. 

The conversation didn’t end there, they laughed on their way back to their cells. Jessie had suggested they go back and watch some TV before the others came back from their daily jobs. 

As they approached their block, they could hear the sounds of objects hitting the ground. 

“Cell toss?” Jessie said quickly as they sped up to see what was going on.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing!” Vanessa shouted. 

There she could see it was her cell’s belongings being thrown about. She got to the door before anyone else to see it was Kerry who was throwing anything she could get her hands on. Her shampoo bottles had been emptied, she was impressed Kerry hadn’t fallen over. It was seeing her go for Vanessa’s bed that caused her to retaliate. 

Just as Kerry threw the pillows and quilt of the bed, she caught sign of the family portrait Vanessa had hidden. For a moment she blinked before grabbing hold of the mattress. 

It was in that split second Vanessa grabbed hold of the brunette by her hair and dragged her by it out of her cell and towards the stair railings, uncertain of what had come over her. Everyone on the bottom floor suddenly looked up at the drama unfolding.

Vanessa ignored the screams of Jessie and Diane and those of the crowd forming for them to fight. Charity, Chas, Lisa and Debbie hearing the commotion rushed to the scene. Charity stood there, hands crossed over her chest and smirking. 

“What do you think you’re playing at?” Vanessa said through gritted teeth, not letting go of the hair in her fist. She pushed her body weight onto her opponent. 

“I know you’ve got it hidden somewhere!” Kerry shouted. “I saw you!” 

“What?” Vanessa asked, puzzled.

“I saw how you ran back here, you were hiding something in your jacket! Where is it!” Kerry swallowed. “Please! The drink, the stash. Whatever it is, I need it. I’ll pay.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Vanessa shook her head. She moved her hands so now they were just grabbing the sides of Kerry’s jacket. She wasn’t about to let go completely just yet. “I don’t have anything.” 

“Let her go, goldilocks,” Charity shouted over the noise.

And like that, it went quiet. Vanessa came to her senses and let go of Kerry, almost apologising for her actions. Kerry remained unfazed, she twitched as she straightened out her hoodie.

“Wyatt! Woodfield!”

The pair of them startled at the sound of Bodybag’s voice. 

“Get to the slot now!” she shouted before she and another had them by the arm and started leading them down the corridor. 

_It’s what I deserve I suppose_ , Vanessa thought as she didn’t fight it. 

* * *

“Woodfield! You’re free to go!” 

As if the ringing of alarms and women shouting to get out isn’t enough to wake you from the sleep you’d only just achieved a few hours back wasn’t enough to wake you before chickens on a farm would be up, there’s officers banging on concrete doors. The noise made it feel like the walls moved. 

Vanessa didn’t get the chance to sit up in bed before officer McAllister was opening the door. 

“Governor is letting you off,” he said. “Count yourself lucky. Now, come on! Move.” 

She looked down at her wrist, expecting to see her watch but of course that had been taken from her. She blinked twice. She was certain it had been more than three hours since she had been thrown in.

Vanessa walked out, hands chuffed behind her back, relieved she couldn’t see Kerry. She gulped. She had the sudden fear, what if the brunette came for her? Looking for revenge to her actions. She knew people. People Vanessa didn’t. If she came for her, the small blonde had no way to defend herself. 

Even when the cuffs were off, she suddenly wished she hadn’t been let off the hook so easily. 

* * *

“Hey, Super Domi-dicky!” Charity whistled when she saw him and Vanessa come back into the block. 

McAllister had escorted the blonde back to her cell. Vanessa kept her head down, Dom tried to make conversation but she ignored him. He stopped pushing when he saw she wasn’t in the mood. 

Her mood now worsening at the sound of Charity’s petty nicknames. 

“Give it a rest, Dingle,” He sighed. 

She jogged to catch up with them, throwing an unexpected round an already uncomfortable Vanessa. She shook her shoulder. “Don’t pretend you’s don’t love it.”

Vanessa tried to shrug out of the grip, but Charity kept her hold. 

“Leave her with me, boss,” she smiled at Vanessa. “I’ll make sure no one else gives her any funny business.”

“You okay with that, Vanessa?”

She was too tired to argue. Regardless, Charity wasn’t going to leave her alone. She was the Top Dog’s new toy. She nodded at him.

“Let this be a warning, Woodfield,” he said. “I don’t want to have to come get you again.”

He smiled at her before heading towards his office. Charity waited until he was out of sight to express her joy at the seemingly golden girl. 

Obviously Charity knew she wasn’t an angel, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the institution together but she had been a model inmate up until now. Charity couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride, in some twisted way or another. She liked a feisty woman. More so when it came from a woman who’s smaller than her teenage son. 

“So where you off to, goldilocks? Actually…,” Charity stopped Vanessa in her tracks. She looked over her hair, parting the hair at the top of her head. “Got some roots growing there, babe. I knew you were too smart to be a natural blonde. I know someone that can fix that for you.” 

_Going grey because of this place more like_ , Vanessa thought. If she really wanted to bite back, she’d ask what Charity’s excuse was but she wasn’t about to get on her wrong side. She swatted the taller blonde’s hand away.

“Do you mind?” 

“I do actually,” Charity said. “Got to keep an eye on you, don’t I, tiny blonde rocket woman? Never put you down as a fighter.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. Another pathetic name to be on the receiving end of. 

“I’m not,” she spat back. “Now if you really don’t mind, I have somewhere I need to be.”

She pushed past Charity, picking up her pace to rid herself of her current company quicker.

“Well…,” Charity started thinking, maybe even tripping over her words. “Why don’t you let me walk you? We could get to know each other better! Talk!”

Vanessa wasn’t listening, she kept her head down, she kept walking. It hurt Charity in a way she hadn’t experienced in a while. She didn’t know what it was, the sudden urge to drop the sarcasm and actually get to know Skipdale’s latest. 

Maybe there was something there that could have Vanessa join the Mean Girls. Yeah, that was it. 

It had nothing to do with maybe wanting to spend a little alone time with her, get to know her personally. It was to discover her strength and weaknesses. They could do that over hair. She really did know someone who could do it for her. 

It was Charity. And maybe she couldn’t do it professionally like Laurel in Block E but she had been dying her own hair since she was a teenager so she knew what she was doing. 

She sighed deeply when Vanessa disappeared around the corner. She didn’t like not be in control, but she did like the challenge. 

* * *

Her footsteps sounded like drums being played next to her ears as she walked, she picked up the tempo to get away from the other noise playing in the head: Charity’s voice. She wouldn’t say it’s her favourite sound in the world but she couldn’t get rid of the volume of that exhale out. The sound of defeat. Something in it made Vanessa want to turn back to see the look on Charity’s face. See if there was something there. Why did she have this sudden feeling there was more to the Top Dog than bitchiness? 

“Vanessa!” 

The blonde groaned. There was never a moment of silence. She just wanted to walk with her thoughts. 

She turned to see Jessie jogging towards her and Jim Fenner, a middle-aged man with a thirst for anything in a skirt, scrolling past with a dirty smirk on his face as expected, it was starting to really turn her stomach. 

“Grant!” He said too slowly for her liking. “What have we said about running?”

He pointed around to the various signs plastered on the walls. 

“What are you going to do, sir?” Jessie asked. “Add more time on my sentence?”

He walked up to her. Jessie held her ground, she crossed her arms over her chest.

Leaning in close to her ear, he whispered. “I’ll teach that mouth to stay shut.”

“Fuck off, you pig.”

He smirked. “I love it when you girls talk dirty.”

They both groaned. 

It was childish but the vet in Vanessa snickered. If he didn’t lack every possible braincell, he would know pigs are one of the cleanest animals scientifically. 

“Anyway,” he smiled, patting Jessie’s cheek lightly. “I’ll let you ladies go. I believe you’re expected in the washrooms. Maybe you could wash that mouth of yours out, Grant.” 

* * *

“Does he always speak to you like that?” Vanessa asked as they folded shirts. 

She couldn’t believe how easy it was to talk to people. She was learning everyone’s deepest, darkest secrets and she hadn’t been there long. It’s not like anyone has anything to hide in prison. She was merely shocked at how easily the women opened up. Now she found herself asking the questions. 

“He talks to everyone in here like it,” Jessie responded. “I’m not his chosen one but he does have favourites.”

Vanessa worried she could be an easy target for him but he hadn’t made a direct comment to her yet. 

“Can he actually do what he said, though?” Jessie looked at her puzzled. “Add time to your sentence for running.”

Jessie shrugged. “The officers can report you for what they want, I suppose.”

Vanessa bit her lip nervously. “Can I ask how you got in here?”

Jessie stopped folding her pile. She leaned onto the counter. She found it hard to talk about but still told anyone who would listen.

“I was speeding to get to the hospital,” she started. “My son was stabbed by a classmate. Officer pulled me over, gave me the whole ‘did you realise how fast you were going’ shit,” she mocked dramatically. “I told him what was going on and, of course, he was having none of it. Told me it’s a ‘black woman’s excuse’. So, as any human being would, I got lippy, it got loud. I said things I’m not proud of and the next thing I know, I was at the station.”

Vanessa squeezed the shirt in her hand, for a moment imagining it was Johnny’s. “And your son? Was he okay?” 

“No. He died,” Jessie said bluntly. “Can I be honest with you?”

Vanessa nodded.

“The bastard who told me couldn’t have been more heartless if he tried. ‘Well, it’ll teach you for breaking the law’, he said,” Jessie rolled her eyes. “If you could have seen me, I started banging on the walls, threatening all sorts. I was seconds away from being put in the psych ward.”

“I’m sorry about him. There really are some heartless people around…,” Vanessa scoffed. “How old was he?” 

“Ellis was eighteen. Few of his mates planned a birthday surprise in some club. They wanted him to get him a girl,” she smiled at the thought. “He was a awkward boy and these friends had really brought him out his shell.”

“He was killed in a club?”

“Not quite. A boy approached in while he was in there and then they got kicked out for arguing. Turns out the girl was the bloke’s ex who he planned winning back that night. Next thing is my son is bleeding from his stomach and I was racing to the hospital to get my boy.”

Vanessa heard the crack in Jessie’s voice and rushed to put an supportive arm around her back. “Did he make it?”

Jessie smiled at her kindness. “Yeah, but only just. My other son was there as they rushed him into surgery and he passed on the operating table. That’s what hurts the most: knowing not only had I lost a child but my eldest lost a brother and a mother that night.”

“It’s not your fault,” Vanessa tired to reassure her. “Does he come to visit at all?”

“Billy? Yeah, picks up the phone every time without fail,” Jessie smiled through her tears. It was obvious, she didn’t talk about her story much. 

“What did Ellis’ killer get?”

“Ha. That’s the best bit,” Jessie turned to face her. Vanessa moved back slightly and Jessie crossed her arms over her chest. “He got two years, and eighteen months probation. It was me who got the life sentence.”

“What do you mean?”

“My son is dead. This bastard place is probably never going to free me,” she listed them off then she repeated herself: “I got the life sentence.”

Vanessa was shocked. “So, what was you charged with?”

“I got six years for speeding because I could have caused death by dangerous driving.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“You don’t have to tell me, hunny,” Jessie laughed. “That monster basically got away with killing my son with intention. I got three times his sentence for wanting to be with my son before he died. Now all I have is the memory of telling him to be safe and have a good time.”

“Do you blame his friends for taking him out?” 

“Absolutely not. He was a teenager, it’s what he should have been doing. He wasn’t like me, I was sneaking out at seventeen and using a fake ID,” she admitted. “It was a miracle they got him out his bedroom in the first place. I was pleased he wanted to go out and meet girls.”

How could Vanessa argue with that? She begged her parents to let her go out. So many times she wanted to do the same as Jessie and borrow a fake ID but she didn’t have the guts to—too scared to be caught. Instead she waited until she was twenty, when her parents weren’t so worried about her safety. 

Now she only had one burning question on her lips. She knew it was risky, but she had to know. It was all the news reported on nowadays, she just wanted to make sense of it more. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, was the ex of the girl white or…?” 

“No. As black as my skin. Everyone was black,” Jessie shrugged. “But that makes no odds. Yes, I believe I am in here as a victim of racism. If I was a white girl faced with a white cop, he wanted have told me to abandon my car and he’ll take me to the hospital but I’m not. I don’t care about the colour of my son’s killer. I care about Ellis’ justice in this system. Stabbing is murder. You don’t accidentally do itI don’t understand how I got more years for speeding.”

That’s what Vanessa wanted hear. It didn’t matter the colour of the person’s skin, it’s the weak sentencing. Young, innocent people are dying because others their age think it’s cool and okay to carry a knife. 

“What about you? Do you have any children?” Jessie asked, wanting to lighten the mood.

With a shaky breathe, “I do. A son.”

“Like my Billy.”

“I’m not trying to relate to your story in any way, obviously,” Vanessa said quickly. “But I understand the fear of racist abuse. Johnny’s dad was Pakistani-English. I do worry he could be bullied for it.”

“Hun, I can’t tell you. I never worried about it until he died. I knew it happened but I raised my boys to be good people,” Jessie said. “I never thought they’d get in a situation like it. That’s all you can do is raise him right. Pray one day the times change.”

Vanessa nodded in agreement. “Do you pray a lot?” 

“Yes, God is my witness,” Jessie put her hand over her heart. “He is my sanity in here, it helps. Do you?”

“Not really. I was raised to but I don’t practice,” Vanessa admitted.

“Well, darling,” Jessie said softly before putting a comforting hand on Vanessa’s shoulder. “If you ever need a place to go or want to speak with Him, you can always come to me.”

“Thank you, Jessie.”

She smiled. “Right, looks like we forgot to bring the baskets in for after so let me pop to the supply cupboard.”

Vanessa smiled back. She felt her heart swell with pride as she watched the other person leave. She didn’t want to cry but hearing Jessie’s story, she saw first hand that others had it so much harder than her easy life before her arrest. 

Vanessa had to distract herself before she came back. But she didn’t have time to. She overheard Jessie talking to someone on the other side of the door and before she could find a task, the door opened and in stepped Charity with arms of dirty kitchen clothes.

“What are you doing here?” Vanessa asked harshly. She leaned herself against the counter. 

“I told you, I have to keep my eye on you,” Charity said calmly as if she was suppose to watch everyone twenty-four hours a day. It rattled Vanessa that the other woman wouldn’t leave her alone. 

“That, and I have some stuff that needs washing, if you would be so kind,” she finished, holding out her laundry to be taken. 

Vanessa took it from her with a huff and put it on top of the washing machine. 

“Alright, babe,” Charity said, pulling a face of confusion. “You don’t have to be like that.”

“Are you going to stand here then until it’s done?” Vanessa said bluntly.

“ _Wow_ ,” Charity huffed. “We hardly know each other and already you don’t like me, but you can’t avoid me.”

Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “Maybe I’m yet to hear nice things about you.”

Charity thought about it for a moment, her lips perched before she mirrored Vanessa’s actions while stepping closer to her. 

“Well, maybe you should talk to me yourself.” 

Vanessa felt her breath catch in her throat. Though, before she could respond, she heard the door creak open and Charity quickly drew back from her and Jessie entered the already crowded area with a smile on her face, basket in hand. Charity clapped her hands together awkwardly. 

“Well, I guess it’s best I let you get on with everything! Great work!” she said quickly, already heading slowly to the exit. She pointed at Vanessa. “You can just bin those things off on Lisa, yeah?”

Charity left the room in a fashion to unlikely for Jessie not to be concerned. In all her years, she had never seen the top dog _enthusiastically_ wave at anyone. 

“What the fuck was that?” she asked.

Vanessa, too, was confused. Although she might of had idea that she could have been caught getting too close or intimidating her, she hadn’t expected that. It almost gave her whiplash how quickly her demeanour changed. 

“Charity being _weird_ ,” Vanessa answered.

Jessie mused and then let it drop. She put it down to Charity using humour as a defensive mechanism, she just didn’t understand why it was needed in that moment. She shrugged and agreed. 

“So, anyway,” she said, dropping the basket at her feet and Vanessa grabbed the first thing on top.“How old is this boy of yours?”

“He’s four.”

“Oh bless! I remember when Billy was that age and the boy nearly gave me a heart attack,” she gasped. “I caught him hanging out of his bedroom window. He was trying to feed the birds his lunch leftovers, figured he needed to be up high for them to see it. He couldn’t understand why they were flying and why whenever he threw a piece of bread in the sky, it kept falling on the ground. He was trying to see where they were landing.”

Vanessa laughed although she shouldn’t have. She was lucky that Johnny was a more quiet boy, happy to play with what’s in front of him be in a world of his own but now she wouldn’t be able to witness those moments that make her question why she thought having kids would be a good idea. 


	4. Say Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Yes, that is the chapter title. I love it. Yay, my brain! This is deffo one of my favourite chapters. This was not the original direction for Charity but some input from a certain someone who knows my love for true crime made me do this. I shall explain more at the end.
> 
> WARNING: Dark themes. Mentions of murder, violence and child sexual abuse. All mentioned are in italics, if you wish to skip over them. 
> 
> Without further adoooo...

“ _I gotta let you know_

_I wanna give into my temptation_ ”

— Can’t Speak French

* * *

Every woman had faced her own battle in life. Some better than others and that’s why Vanessa was surrounded by strong women who just happened to be guilty of a crime.

Vanessa was beginning to wonder what Charity’s was to make her the way she is. 

She had a way of being a bitch one minute, and then someone who was caring, someone Vanessa could hold a conversation with. 

Vanessa would be lying if she said it didn’t intrigue her. 

She watched how she laughed with Chas behind the canteen counter. She wasn’t all ice and misery. There was someone else under that layer. 

“Hey, buttercup,” Charity sung when she saw Vanessa. “You decided to join us for dinner, then? Surprised they let you out of your cage again.”

“Very funny, Charity,” she sighed.

“Ignore her, Vanessa,” Diane said, pushing her slightly to move her up the line and away from Charity quicker.

“Hey, I heard about what you did!” Chas piped in, slapping today’s special onto her tray like a careless lunch lady. “Good on you, girl. You have protect yourself from the crazies like her in here.”

“She’s not crazy,” Vanessa replied softly. “She’s an addict. She can’t help it.”

“Please,” Charity said sarcastically. “She’s a psycho-bitch who needs putting down.”

Vanessa frowned. “Would you like the same thing said about you?”

Chas took a sharp in take of breath. “ _Ooo_ , she bites.” 

“She does,” Charity smirked. 

She would be lying if she said Vanessa’s feistiness didn’t turn her on a little bit. Seeing those blue eyes darken made her want to see more of what the smaller blonde had in her. What there was to offer, see she wasn’t a pushover or the sweet and innocent who get destroyed in an institute for the bad, evil and undeserving. 

“I’ve started calling her a tiny blonde rocket woman, haven’t I, babe?” she winked at Vanessa. “All that time spent treating felines and this kitty has her own claws.”

“ _Meow_ ,” Chas purred. 

“Gross,” Debbie came up from behind her family and slapped the back of her head.

Vanessa recoiled in horror. Of course, it was impossible to have a conversation when Charity had her entourage around. She had to bite back.

“Have you been to a farm, Charity? Seen the wonders of nature?”

“Do you know what?” Charity thought about it for a second, tapping her chin for dramatic effect. “I don’t think I have. Daddy never had time. Too busy being a dirty pig himself.”

“It shows,” Vanessa swallowed. “Seems like the only cow you’ve ever seen is the one that stares back at you in the mirror.” 

The uproar of the canteen from her lap of disrespect was enough to bring her back down to earth. The crowd clapping and cheering at the scene that had unfolded.

“You _walked_ into that one, mother,” Debbie laughed, shaking Charity’s shoulders. 

Charity didn’t say anything. She took it. There staring her in the face is what she had been waiting for. Now she didn’t know how to feel about not having the upper hand.

“Come on, Vanessa,” Diane leaned over to her ear. “I think it’s time we found a seat.”

* * *

Later that day, Vanessa had calmed herself down.

She didn’t speak to anyone after lunch. She took herself back to her cell and got lost in a book. It was about as much as she could do without drawing attention to herself. 

There was a knock at the door. Vanessa figured it was time she talk to someone. It was probably only Jessie or Diane wondering how she is. No doubt Diane let their little group know.

“Come in,” she said as she bookmarked her page and put it on the table next to her bed.

The door opened only enough so Charity could stick her head in. 

“Hey,” she whispered. 

“Charity,” Vanessa said sternly. 

“Look, I know I’m probably the last person you want to see.”

She wasn’t wrong there. Vanessa had been hoping the taller blonde would just leave her alone.

Charity invited herself in, slowly closing the door behind her. She leaned against it. She figured keeping her distance from probably for the best. 

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Vanessa crossed her legs and rested her hands in her lap. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Charity shook her head mockingly. “It’s my job.”

“I don’t need you fighting my battles for me.”

“I’m not asking to fight your battles. I’m making sure you stay out of them,” Charity stated. She moved closer, just slightly standing over Vanessa. “You want to get out of here right?”

“Yes,” she swallowed.

“Well then, stay out of trouble. You come to me if there is any and I’ll sort it out,” Charity crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sure Jessie and that have told you my rules.”

Vanessa nodded. “But don’t you want to get out?”

“Babe, why do you think I took top dog?” Charity laughed. “I’m never getting out.”

She took the opportunity to sit down, Vanessa scooted over to make room and Charity took a seat next to her. 

“You’re a…?”

“Lifer?” Charity nodded. “Yep. Are you scared of me now?”

“No,” Vanessa shook her head. As much as the thought worried her, it didn’t frighten her. It’s not like Charity wasn’t were she belonged.

“Good. I thought if you knew you would want nothing to do with me.”

Vanessa narrowed her eyes but she had to ask.

“What did you do?”

* * *

_ Charity was thirteen when she committed her first criminal offence. Kicked out by her alcoholic father, Obadiah, for being disruptive, she went to live with her Aunt Faith—at least she thinks she’s her aunt. The Dingles have a very complicated family history.  _

_ There was she met Cain, Faith’s son. They had a close relationship, being so close in age and never really growing up together, Cain was the one person Charity could trust with her life. He was only there to defend her when she found herself on the streets when Faith had had enough of her disruptive behaviour, he begged his mother to give her another chance.  _

_ The streets is where Charity lost the little childhood she had left. She learned you can pay for a shot at life with your body. Close your eyes, let it happen and men of all ages, jobs and status will give you money or food in exchange.  _

_ Having very rarely gone to school and a father who kept his affairs away from her—literally, he would go for weeks on ‘business’ trips which Charity now knew where an excuse to get away from her and have sex with women who weren’t her mother—wherever she was—and come back a more violent men than before, reminding Charity she ruined his life, she would run away. School never got the chance to teach her about sex and relationships. She let the men take advantage of her and when one told her it’s a sign of love, she found herself back in touch with Cain. The only man to have ever loved her, right? He looked after her, fought her corner. She never knew how she could repay him and now she did.  _

_ That night she learned why the other men pilled her with booze, told her to keep drinking or why they threw packs of pills at her but never those foil packets Cain later told Charity that he found in his dad’s bedside table about. He was lucky to go to school, he had learned about protection but Charity never needed them before? Why would she with him? Cain was excited at the prospect, imagine what he could tell his mates! _

_ And when her body started changing, he wanted nothing more to do with her. He ran and so did she, far away from anything to do with the Dingles. At the hospital, she tried to tell her dad and he told her he’ll try get there but he was at the pub. _

_ Holding her little girl in her arms, she had felt nothing like it before. She was grateful she got to name her. She had grown up reading the bible, she also knew her family had a tradition of naming off spring after those in the scripture so she named her after the most influential woman, in her eyes. Deborah. Maybe this was God’s way of telling her this is her escape. This is where life changes, give her the wisdom and courage to change.  _

_ But real life didn’t work like that. Debbie, as she preferred to call her, was taken away by social services and Charity was sent back to live with Obadiah. From then she didn’t call him dad, he wasn’t a father to her. Quickly, he quickly kicked her out and she found it was safer to be on the streets. She found herself a group of girls, all of similar ages and they gave her a place to stay, told her they were protected by the police. She saw it was a sign, police were good people, she knew that.  _

_ Every time she got caught stealing—because she needed to survive and because it gave her excitement she had been missing since Debbie got taken away—it made her happy to see Mark Bails, the man who gave the other girls the flat. He would laugh and joke with her back to the estate, gave her her favourite sweets and even brought her new clothes. He told her once she was sixteen, he could help her more but while she was only fourteen at this point, there was nothing more he could do, she should be under social services but she didn’t want to go into care and he didn’t want her to either.  _

_ First night, she told him she was going back to the flat alone, he raped her. Like he had been waiting for his opportunity. Why didn’t the other girls warn her? Did he do this to them, too? Was she special, did he like her? She was old and mature enough to make her own decisions, if he wanted to be with her, he only had to ask. She would have said yes. Age is only a number and he cared for her. That’s love, right?  _

_ So, then why did he start getting other men to sleep with her, tell her it excited him, that if she was only the street looking for men, why not go for the ones he knew? That had to be safer than some stranger coming out of a club. Suddenly, why was the pain and humiliation worth it for a pack of biscuits? She had to go to the police, the ones in the station, the ones who took statements and put the bad people behind bars.  _

_ Charity told them she was being attacked. She couldn’t tell them about the sexual assault otherwise bad things would happen but the average Joe men, they were okay to tell on. Bails wouldn’t hurt her for them.  _

_ But the minute she told them why she was on the streets, they binned her off. And she went back to what she knew. Maybe it’s just what life was meant to be for her. She had a roof over her head, food on the table, he didn’t always want sex from her or bring round other men every day or week, she could handle the odd occasions.  _

_ It was when she started being sick in the mornings again. She remembered the feelings from not long before. She did what they had made her before, she drank and drank and drank but it wasn’t enough.  _

_ Though, maybe this was another sign? Maybe this was Charity’s final escape. When she tarted feeling pains in her stomach, far too early to be labour, she jumped in Bails’ car and drove to the nearest hospital. _

_ She was going to look after this one. She was going to track down her Auntie Lisa, she had always been good to her and she knew she would be able to support them both. But he wasn’t breathing when he came out. Nurses told her everything was going to be okay but she wouldn’t believe it. She could hear the machines beeping and she ran.  _

_ He had to be dead, there was no way he survived. All she knew is if he had lived, she would have called him Asa. She knew it wasn’t the most common of names at the time and her family would have had something to suddenly say about it but it meant healer and Charity truly believed that’s what he was going to be to her.  _

_ The next few years passed as a blur after that, she went back to what she knew in a different county, somewhere Bails couldn’t find her. She taught herself that if sex work was all she was good at to earn more, she was going to set down rules. No more would she let the men be in charge. _

_ So when a regular, Chris Tate, forced himself on her in his car, wanting more than what she was offering, she defended herself. She hit him until he was uncurious and ran. _

_ Days later, the police found her and charged her with GBH. A dog walker had found him, bleeding from the head and called them to the scene. At the time of her arrest, he was in a critical condition in hospital with head injuries. He suffered brain damage and Charity was charged eight months in prison given it was her first offence. Additional time was added when Chris committed suicide for what she’d done.  _

_ In that time, she learned from women that her childhood wasn’t uncommon and she started to develop a hatred for men who took advantage of women. It didn’t stop her going back on the game when she got out, though, because it was all she knew.  _

_ Her second victim was Jai Shama. He offered to pay her out for a couple of days. Bit like Richard Gene in that film with Julia Roberts. It gave her a roof for a couple of days, he fed her well, it wasn’t so bad and until he told her he despised prostitutes and everything they do and she wasn’t so lucky anymore. He told her they’re an act of the devil and were had she heard that before? He kept her chained in a room without anything, still continuing to rape her, as it was his duty to rid of the evil. But she didn’t get it and in her years, she had built up this act of sarcasm. She started telling him his logic made zero sense in the real world. If paying for sex was such a sinful act, why did he have her tied up? He didn’t like that. To this day she couldn’t talk about what he did to her but she saw it as the final straw so when he was sleeping, she straddled his body and she stabbed him. Once in the chest, clean. As he lay dying, she ran.  _

_ This time she wasn’t going to tell anybody. Charity told herself it was a one-off.  _

_ She met Declan a couple years later. Still living on the streets, she was looking for her next pick up. She ordered he book them a hotel room, treat her to a bit of luxury but he wasn’t having any of it. Instead, he drove her into the middle of wooded area and hit her over the head with a crow bar he had hidden in the back seat. He told her he made the rules and he had a dark, twisted fantasy. She wasn’t about to let that happen. So, when he started pulling at her clothes, she took out the fold up knife she carried for protection and stabbed wherever she could reach. _

_ She got him in the neck and burst a major blood vessel. She screamed before she escaped the scene, leaving him there to bleed out, taking the knife with her.  _

_ She said she wouldn’t do it again, but she couldn’t let this man sodomise her. All she had ever known was sexual assault but she knew that would destroy her. To have her body used in every way, to downgrade her in one final way.  _

_ Her final murder, the victim, the one that got her caught and gave her the life sentence. Charity’s past had come back to haunt her.  _

_ She had tracked down Lisa and Debbie, she had to tell them her story, get a point of view that hopefully wouldn’t paint her as a murderer. It wasn’t the easiest way to introduce yourself to the child you never raised. Lisa was shocked but she understood Charity’s reasons. Yes, she was mad and hurt and knew the woman should hand herself in.  _

_ Who took on her case? None other than DI Mark Bails. She knew he’d have her sent down. Why wouldn’t he? He was the start to her problems. He was the whole reason she had a so-called career soliciting herself. He didn’t care. He cared to see her rot. While, if she was going to rot, so was he.  _

_ A stab to his chest was all it took to finish him off. She was numb by this point. She didn’t just leave his body at the scene. She enlisted Chas and Lisa’s help, she knew they had to cover her tracks. They threw him in the river, praying no one would ever find him. _

_ Two years later, the police turned up at her door in connection. She alongside Chastity and Lisa were taken to the station and charged with his murder. Lisa and Chas confessed to their parts while Charity fought her own justice. While she took them about his attraction for teenage girls, they, once again, only saw the stealing prostitute who now had connections to the other murders with and around the area.  _

_ A wonderful woman, Irene, got in touch with Charity after reading her story in the paper. She believed she had the missing piece to the puzzle to lesser her sentence. She had Ryan. The baby she left in the hospital. She had raised him when she saw Charity wasn’t coming back and offered to give a DNA sample. But it wasn’t enough.  _

_ Charity Dingle was charged with three counts of first-degree murder and one count of GBH and second-degree murder on Chris Tate as he killed himself as a result of the injuries he sustained.  _

_ Charity went down kicking and screaming. There was no justice in the system.  _

** _I sentence you to life in prison!_ **

* * *

“Wow,” Vanessa said when she knew Charity was done telling her story. 

“Shit more like,” Charity shifted, uncomfortably. 

The room went silent. It was for the best. It gave Vanessa a chance to process the new information and Charity gathered her thoughts.

“Aren’t I too good for you?” Vanessa finally broke the silence. “What do you want with me all the time? You tell me that and I wonder why you have to be mean to get a reaction out of me.”

“You’re a bit different to the rest, admittedly,” Charity chuckled.“There’s a lot of bitchy people in here who don’t react. I like that you just kinda mind your own but you talk back to me.”

“Some people might say that’s a warped way of thinking…”

“I had all the psychopath tests done, babe,” Charity clicked her teeth. “Negative every time. They can’t find a thing. But, I do think you had every right to go off at Kerry. Psycho-bitch needs putting down.”

Vanessa blinked in surprise. “She’s an addict. She can’t help it.”

“See, there you go!” Charity sighed. “Seeing the good in people.” 

“It’s not that hard you know.”

“It is,” Charity rolled her eyes. “You haven’t seen what I have in here.”

“Everyone has a story,” Vanessa stated. 

“And you think mine is justifiable?” Charity questioned, her body ready for every answer. 

“Absolutely,” Vanessa nodded. “I believe your version of events.”

“You’d be about the only one who does.”

“I can tell you’re telling the truth. I have good judge of character.”

Charity raised her eyebrows. “Anything else you’re good at?”

“Stop it,” Vanessa hissed, pushing at Charity’s knee. Trust her to bring the conversation down. 

“You’re good in a fight,” Charity said as she caught Vanessa’s hand. “You basically won, babe. Didn’t think you had it in you, tiny blonde rocket woman.”

“You were doing so well up until now,” Vanessa rolled her eyes. She tried to free her hand but the taller blonde was fighting against her. “For a moment I thought I was actually getting to know the proper Charity.”

“Didn’t you just say you’re a good judge? Should have seen it coming,” Charity let Vanessa have her space again. She shrugged carelessly. “This is the real me.”

“What, using humour as a defence when things start to get a little bit too real for your liking?”

“Oh, okay, babe,” Charity run a hand through her hair, hoping it would ease her discomfort. “Thought we had done with the deep talk for the day.”

“It doesn’t have to be limited to once a day,” Vanessa said bluntly.

Charity a few ways she could answer that. More than she like to admit were using that defence mechanism but she could see Vanessa was one innuendo away from kicking her out. 

“If I told you I like you, would you believe me?”

“Yeah.”

Charity’s eyes soften. For the first time since—hell, she couldn’t even remember—she felt her shoulders relax. Still, she was confused.

“Why?” 

“Because I can tell by your eyes.”

Charity’s breath caught in her throat. It wasn’t often she was rendered speechless but the way Vanessa was looking back at her right now. Vanessa really could see it in her eyes and was being sucked into those pools of green. She swallowed, hard. 

She acted fast, she didn’t want it so either of them could ruin the moment. She threw herself towards Charity. Her hand came in contact with Charity’s leg and before she could realise how much pressure she had added, Charity was yelping out in pain. With her legs crossed, the weight of Vanessa’s hand, sent Charity’s limb into an impossible angle that pulled on all her muscles. The unexpected discomfort caused the taller blonde to fall forward and their heads clashed.

“Ah, fuck!” Charity yelled. She now had one hand rubbing her leg and the other holding the sore part of her head.

“Ouch!” Vanessa said almost in time. 

“Well, that’s one way to ruin a moment.”

Vanessa laughed but she couldn’t hide the embarrassment. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Charity gasped, hoping it’d relieve some of the agony. “I’ve had worse encounters, if we’re being honest.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Vanessa ignored her own pain—and the pounding in her heart—to make sure Charity was okay. She placed her hand over the one on Charity’s thigh then realising how close to the woman she was, she moved back. “Oh, fu—sorry, shouldn’t say that. I’m sorry!”

“Stop apologising,” Charity grinned. She gave her head one last rub before she focused her attention on Vanessa. A red mark on her forehead where they collided starting appearing, like she imagined her own. 

“Sorry.”

“There it is again.”

Of course, the moment made Charity want to kiss Vanessa. The childish humour of it made her crave her more. She never got the opportunity to experience that whole teenage puppy love thing when she was a teenager and this is what she imagined it would feel like. 

She imagined what it would feel like to have Vanessa, even if it was only right now but now she felt the moment was over. She had to get it back. She tucked her legs under her. 

“Have you ever swore in your life?” she asked.

“What?”

Vanessa was confused. Her head was already in a spin for more than one reason, she didn’t need Charity being her humorous self again. 

“Have you ever swore in your life?” she repeated. “I noticed you stopped yourself. Why?”

“I don’t know,” Vanessa shrugged. “I was taught not to, I suppose, but of course I have.”

Charity gasped. “When?”

Vanessa didn’t know why Charity needed to know this. Hadn’t she embarrassed herself enough? Why wouldn’t Charity just leave the room, let them both get over this embossment alone? Instead, her she was, prolonging it.

“Go on, tell me and I’ll give you what you want,” she smiled. “I’ll kiss it better.”

Vanessa’s eyes widen, the pink glow to her cheeks turning darker. “I-I don’t want to—I just thought you, maybe, you, too—“

“You’re too easy to wind up,” Charity rolled her eyes. “I won’t if you don’t want me to. But I do want to know when.”

“You know… at times.”

“Doing the horizontal tango?”

“Charity!” 

“Okay, okay. More PG. When you’ve stepped on something? Dropped your coffee? Got mad at your boyfriend?”

Vanessa shook her head no to each question.

“Have you even been in an argument outside of here? Please tell me. I want to know the real you.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. It annoyed her Charity looked at her like she’s Mother Teresa but they both knew if she was, they wouldn’t be in the cell together. 

She wanted to tell Charity she is human, too. She’s sworn under her breath every time her son doesn’t listen to her but she wasn’t about to start talking about her backstory.

“Say fuck.”

Vanessa snapped out of her thoughts. 

“No,” she said bluntly.

“Come on, say fuck. I wanna hear what it sounds like.”

She crawled over to the smaller blonde, her boldness made her swallow the lump in her throat. She grabbed Vanessa’s wrists and held them down on the mattress below them. 

“Say fuck,” she whispered.

The way she spoke made Vanessa’s inside feel funny. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt that. 

“No,” she whispered back. She could see Charity’s eyes change. She only hoped the wardens weren’t lurking about outside, she had been ignoring all sounds up until know. 

All she could hear was her heartbeat in her ears. Charity moved so Vanessa was on her back and had her legs either said of her waist. She licked her bottom lip before she leaned in close to the smaller blonde’s face. 

The mood changed. Charity’s demands now weren’t important. She noticed how Vanessa’s body tensed up as she got closer so she draw back. Last thing she wanted to do now was ruined what clearly looked like it was on the cards.

“Do you want me stop?” she asked. 

Vanessa shook her head slowly. “No.”

One word, two letters was all Charity needed to hear. She kissed her. Once first, testing the waters before the second time and it was on the third that the kiss turned deeper, harder and Vanessa knew she had never felt anything like it, a feeling she had never known before. 

The slip of Charity’s tongue, Vanessa melted. Years wasted on pointless hook-ups when right now is what Vanessa had dreamed of. She did everything she could to pull Charity’s body closer to hers and she thought Charity felt the same until, suddenly, she pulled away as if she had been burned. 

She jumped off the bed and started pacing back and forth with her hands together against her lips like she was praying.

“Actually, Vanessa,” she motioned at the confused smaller blonde. “This is where you save yourself. This is where you call it quits.”

“What—why?” Vanessa said, flustered and unsure what was going on.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Charity replied. “I’m messed up in the head, babe. I shouldn’t have told you about…”

Vanessa squinted her eyes. “You think you can just tell me something like that and I’ll go?” 

“Believe me, you should take the shortcut,” Charity nodded, trying to hide her hurt behind a smile. “I won’t tell anyone this happened.”

“Charity,” Vanessa said softly before she got up and reached for Charity’s hands before holding them tightly in her own. “I wanted you to kiss me and you told me that because you wanted to, right?”

Charity shrugged. “Everyone knows. I’m surprised no one told you before me. I thought it was why you’ve been brutal towards me.”

Vanessa knew she was talking about earlier. 

“I’m sorry about that now,” Vanessa apologised. “Hadn’t heard it from the horse’s mouth is all. Now I know why you’re so defensive.”

Charity tried to smile. Instead she resorted to what she knew best and while everyone was being honest, she was bored of talking about herself. Now slightly regretting ruining their previous moment. 

“Cow’s mouth more like,” she said. 

Vanessa shook her head in disbelief but she wasn’t angry. “Very funny.”

Charity stepped closer to her, looking down at their swinging joined hands. She met Vanessa’s eyes. 

“So you’re not mad I came to check on you now?”

“Nope,” Vanessa shook her head. 

“And you don’t regret this?” Charity motioned between them. “Because this could work, you know. I really do think you’re good for me.”

“Nope,” Vanessa repeated. “And I think you’d be good for me, too.”

Charity’s eyes widened before she laughed. “I don’t know about that.”

“I’m a big girl,” Vanessa stated, puffing out her chest in a bid to make herself look taller and prove a point. “I know what I want.”

“And what do you want?” 

Vanessa looked down at Charity’s lips and then her eyes again, she could see a change in them. A life once lived and one stolen, and now one that was hopeful.

“This.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Just in case anyone wants to know: I took inspiration from a real life case. Her name is Aileen Wuornos, if you don't already know her. I believe she is innocent and justified and I believe the same for Charity in this story. 
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think. I'm interested to know other peoples opinions on what crimes I chose for the characters!


	5. A Facebook Page & Charity Foundation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi... this should have been uploaded some days ago... 
> 
> The last chapter really got some views and I got some really awesome feedback so thank you! I had too much fun writing it. 
> 
> Now we start getting into the story... 
> 
> WARNINGS: mentions of dark thoughts, just in case.

“ _We’re safe and sound, and we’re untouchable_ ”

— Untouchable

* * *

Teachers told her she lacked love and affection from her parents as a child. Her friends told her she was a freak. TV and film told her she was non-existent. If it wasn’t for the internet telling her she wasn’t invisible, maybe she wouldn’t even be here. 

There wouldn’t be a life for her because she would have ended it. 

She read that asexuality made up one percent of the world’s population. 

Alone. That’s what Liv felt. 

When she did the math, one percent was made up of seventy-five million people in the world. She’d seen celebrities have more social media followers so how lonely could she really be?

But she didn’t have access anymore. 

She had found comfort in literature, often finding authors whom’s words could be interpreted to understand her struggles. 

In her darkest moments, she would have kept drinking and not cared who found her body. They didn’t care to understand her when she was alive so why would they educate themselves when she’s dead? 

In the words of Anne Frank: “dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.”

Today, she would be nothing but a Facebook post and charity foundation. 

Two years in prison and Liv was yet to meet another inmate like herself. She knew it would be easier to be like them but she wasn’t. She couldn’t change. 

Although, they never made her feel bad for what she did, she would go back and change the outcome. 

She would have never been tricked into going to that party, she would have never told the girl she thought was her best friend how she felt. She would have ignored the gossip about the cutest boy in their class having a crush on her. She would have never shouted at the group of boys calling her a freak. She would have stayed home. She would have never been followed home by them. She would have never been attacked. She would have never attacked the one on top of her with rock until he was as lifeless as she felt. 

She would have never see the posts calling her a monster. She would have never seen everyone calling the boys good kids who wouldn’t harm a fly. She would have never faced the judge trialling her as an adult for her actions.

She would have never had to listen to them tell her she should ignored the slurs. She would never heard the mothers cursing them out. She would have never heard the judge sentence her with GBH. She would have never heard the cheers of the families as she was led down. 

He didn’t die and still, they would never understand she was the victim. 

* * *

When Vanessa woke, she glanced over her shoulder. Exactly as she thought, Charity was pressed against her back. She could feel her steady breath on her shoulder. The arm draped over her circled around her waist, pulling her in closer. Vanessa could get used to this.

It had become a regular occurrence recently. There was talk of new inmates coming in and the governor was trying to make space. 

Charity was thrilled at the idea of being thrown in with the smaller blonde. She had grown quite fond of her company and she wasn’t too fussed who knew it either. 

They sent their evening in the film club, watching whatever was on offer but Charity wasn’t really there for the TV. It was an excuse to sit close to Vanessa and try hold her hand like they were on a cinema date. Once than once she had caught Vanessa playing pool with Diane or Jessie and tested the waters by either showing her how to pot a ball properly—she had years of experience over her after all—and if she was feeling risky, she would whisper suggestively in her ear about the position she was in. 

Of course, it affected Vanessa but she had to repress herself. She had told Charity she didn’t want everyone to know their business. She liked having them still be a secret but the taller blonde loved it, too.

Finally someone liked her for her and she couldn’t believe her luck having someone like Vanessa want to be around her but still that playfulness in her couldn’t help itself. She never did public things to make her uncomfortable, she did it on impulse. 

Lucky for the pair of them, no one was really paying much attention. Everyone was used to Charity being on someone’s case. Brenda would be quick to tell her to leave Vanessa alone if she saw them, though, and Charity would do just that.

It did worry Vanessa Charity wanted more from her. Since the kiss, they hadn’t gone any further. Mainly because they had separate cells before and in the daytime they both had jobs to do. They saw each other at lunch, Charity throws her a wink and hands her a note if they want to meet up somewhere after, usually in the kitchen storage or yard but it’s not a regular thing because they don’t want others to catch on. They had to spend time with other friends. Charity has to be seen with the Mean Girls, make sure her duties as top dog are still in order. 

But now she had no problem with Charity jumping in her bed once Hollamby locked the doors. She enjoyed the warmth and the conversations they had in the dark. 

They did struggle to be apart, though. Something about Charity is addictive. Vanessa found herself, folding clothes, thinking about Charity’s hands on her. Jessie asked her if she was okay once after she stopped suddenly what she was doing to hold onto the table and she had to blame the heat of the tumble dryer made her feel faint. 

She was grateful when they were called to lunch and they could see each other. 

As usual, Vanessa picked what she wanted from the limited menu and Charity slipped a note under her plate. 

As she ate, she would look over her shoulder every so often and caught Charity staring at her. She blushed deeply. 

Jessie scoffed. “She’s trouble, that one.”

Vanessa had to hide her smile. 

“Tell me about it.”

* * *

“Get in there!”

“Charity, wha—what are you doing?” Vanessa tried to hide her schoolgirl-like giggles as the taller blonde pushed her towards their cell. 

Charity leaned in close to her ear. “We share a room now, babe. Come on, let’s make the most of it.”

She used her foot to close the door behind her before she turned Vanessa around in her arms, her hands came to rest on her hips before she used them to pull their bodies flushed. 

Vanessa didn’t know what to do with her hands, she twitched at the thought of being alone with Charity, in their own space where no one could distract them or stop them taking advantage of an empty space. She rested them on Charity’s biceps, apprehensively. 

Sensing Vanessa’s nervousness, she nudged her nose with her own and smiled down at her before kissing her cheek softly.

“We said lunch,” Vanessa swallowed. “I really should be helping Jessie…”

“It’s a few knickers,” Charity said, lowly. She breathed on the smaller blonde’s neck before placing a kiss there, too. “She can handle it.”

Vanessa nodded. She would be lying if she didn’t say the way Charity’s lips were making her feel right now, made her want to abandon her responsibilities. Charity grabbed her hands and started to lead her other to her bed before Vanessa pushed at her chest. 

“Have you closed the door?”

Charity sighed. “Really, Vee?”

“I’m being serious.”

“I’m sure,” Charity said, kissing at the side of her mouth. She couldn’t get where she most desired as Vanessa was begging to see over her shoulder.

Vanessa grabbed Charity’s face to try and stop her. It didn’t, she fought against her to kiss her neck, again, still pushing at her body before they ran out of time.

“You’re sure?” 

“Yes!”

“Will you check, please?” Vanessa pleaded.

Charity threw her head back in defeat. “Are you being serious right now, babe?” 

“Please…”

“It’s closed, I promise,” Charity said, more aggressively than what should be considered normally given their current state. Maybe she was just greedy. Desperate is what her clients would call her. But she craved Vanessa and she was going to take advantage of it, if Vanessa wanted her, too. “Get on the bed.”

“You’re so bossy.”

Charity had to try hard not to laugh at the innocence. “Says the one who thinks I’m incapable of closing a door and near-on begged me—”

“Stop talking,” Vanessa grabbed her face, finally letting her kiss her and be pushed onto the bed.

Charity cupped the back of her head and for the first time, Vanessa noted Charity’s size compared to her own. She felt her hands meet, short nails ever-so-lightly grazing at her scalp. Vanessa knew getting the taller blonde to move wasn’t going to be an easy task. 

Her whole body tingled at the thought of Charity’s body pressed against hers again. She used her arms to wrap around her neck and pull her down so Vanessa was laying against the mattress, Charity landing on her hands to stop her full body weight crushing the other woman. 

Before Vanessa became aware of her movements, her fingers were drawing patterns on Charity’s skin; she ached draw her hands higher. 

Charity sensed what Vanessa was thinking. She grabbed her hand and moved it so it rested over her clothed and she used her own hand over Vanessa’s to squeeze her breast, and, for the first time, Vanessa heard Charity moan in a manner that wasn’t a grovel or a criticism but that of relief. 

The sound hit Vanessa between the legs. She had never felt anything like it. She almost wanted to beg Charity to do something about it. Show her she had been a fool for wasting years on men who only thought of themselves.

“Now who’s the bossy one?” Charity laughed against her lips. 

“ _Shi—_ ,” Vanessa gasped, shocked she has said something out loud and moved Charity’s hand so it was toying with the waistband of her prison joggers. 

“I quite like it.”

Vanessa swallowed, hard. “I lose my brain every time I’m within five metres of you.” 

She had to tell her; find a way to tell her she wanted her in any way she could, even if it worried her given their situation.

“Don’t want that, babe,” Charity kissed her cheek then slowly moved down towards her neck before she pulled down the neck of her shirt to touch her lips to the bare skin of her shoulder. “You’re going need that when you get out of here.”

Vanessa sighed for many different reasons she couldn’t list right now. She pushed on Charity’s cheek so they were face-to-face. Charity moved down onto her elbows before her arms gave way. Vanessa kissed her again.

“Stop talking,” she said. 

* * *

Liv had been scaling the prison looking for Vanessa. She was hoping to see if she was free in the day to help her with some more work. She had found Jessie on her own, coming out of the washroom. She asked her if she had seen who she was looking for and why weren’t they together. Jessie told her she assumed Vanessa had been called to the governor’s office or something because she wouldn’t bunk of her duties, but when Liv asked Dom about it, she said he wasn’t aware Ms Stewart wanted to see her. 

So, now, Liv, assuming something must be wrong with Vanessa if no one had seen her and was pulling herself up the stairs to get to her cell faster.

As she approached it, she could hear the older blonde’s distinctive laugh along with someone else’s. 

Noticing the door slightly ajar, she looked through the crack.

She was shocked to see Vanessa kissing none other than Charity Dingle! _Since when had that been a thing?_ she asked herself. 

More than anything, she was upset she had met someone else who wasn’t fussy about who they kissed. Liv didn’t let herself think if anything else had happened. 

She bit her lip and stepped away before she ruined their moment. She shoved her hands in her pockets before turning away and deciding she’ll go to the library instead. 

She kept her eyes on the mucky floors of Skipdale, dragging her feet along it and watching as one foot moved in front of the other that she didn’t see Moira running towards her. She stopped in time before they clashed.

“Liv! Liv!” she shouted for her. “You haven’t seen Vanessa, have you?”

“Yeah, she’s in her cell but I don’t think you should—Moira!” 

Liv tried to grab the sleeve of the Scottish woman’s shirt but she was too quick for her. Moira was on a mission and not even Liv breaking into a jog could keep up with the pace.

“Vanessa!” Moira shouted as she barged open the cell door.

Lucky for Charity and Vanessa, they had heard the rampant footsteps headed towards them and broke a part. They looked at each other, confused, before they caught the door swing open and moved off each other before anyone could see.

“Vanessa!” Moira was relived to see her. “Come quick. You’re going to want to see this!”

Charity glanced at the smaller blonde, not sure what could be happening that she didn’t know about and why Moira’s concern was Vanessa. She was told to stay away. 

Still, Charity stood up with Vanessa and they followed Moira down to the ground floor, where to Vanessa’s horror and surprise stood three new inmates. All faces. She knew. One too familiar.

Tracy, Priya, Leyla and Maya were the newest arrivals at Skipdale. 

Vanessa fell into Charity who threw her arm around her. Moira squeezed her shoulder, while she watched in disbelief. 


	6. Doing God's Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I was an police officer, I would start this off with a 'well, well, well, what do we have here?' but I'm not so, hi! Have a new chapter! I hope you enjoy this one. This one is courtesy of my brain. The part that says: 'Tina, what's the craziest stories you can come up with?' feating the man-hating lesbian I try so hard not to be. You're welcome. Enjoy... 
> 
> WARNINGS: Mentions of child sexual abuse.

“ _We’re gonna cause a controversy_ ”

— Biology

* * *

Everyone has a backstory. Vanessa knew this long before prison but as an outsider, people are quick to judge a criminal, no matter how small the crime before wondering what got them there in the first. 

Vanessa was lucky having been an avid watch of crime shows that she came in with two mindsets and befriending the characters within Skipdale, with whom watchers like her come to love had really helped push away the narrow-minded point of view.

But some backstories and crimes were inexcusable. 

Maya didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Vanessa was ordered to stay away from Leyla, Tracy, Priya and Maya last night—some bull excuse about allowing them space to adapt to their new surroundings. 

Diane was assigned Priya while Jessie was chosen to mentor Tracy and Leyla and Brenda was given Maya—mainly because she was the least likely to throttle her despite the rumours. 

It didn’t take long for Vanessa alongside Charity to track down her half-sister, Leyla and Priya. She cornered them, basically forcing them into their cell while they had Diane stand outside on the lookout. If they weren’t still allowed to be seen talking, they needed a guard. 

“Fancy putting you all in the same prison, who’s genius idea was that?” Charity said. 

“Apparently everywhere else is full,” Tracy shrugged. 

Vanessa put her hands on her hips, her jaw clenched. “And they couldn’t throw Maya in an asylum, no?”

“I heard she passed the tests,” Leyla replied. 

“Cheated them more like,” Vanessa scoffed.

Charity was confused. How did Vanessa know what Maya had done?She was shocked to see her sister, ordered to stay away so how could she possibly know what Skipdale’s latest recruits were in for? 

“Babe, what has Maya done?”

Vanessa breathed out, relaxing her shoulders. She looked at Charity, hurt, and shook her head. Of course, she didn’t actually know what the woman was charged with but she had a good idea. Maya was a teacher at North Chadderton school where many of Vanessa’s friends teenage children back in Emmerdale attended. There had been rumours about Maya’s unprofessional behaviour. 

“I don’t know, but she’s not a good person,” Vanessa sighed. She stepped towards Tracy and held her hands, taking a deep breath in, she questioned her little sister. “Please tell me you had nothing to do with this. Please tell you’ve been caught up in the crossfire and you’re going to get out of here soon?”

Tracy swallowed the lump in her throat, tears forming in her eyes. “Vee, I can’t—“

“Shh!” Priya hushed the group suddenly, panicked. “Do you hear that?”

The rapid noise of protest was building outside their cell. More and more voices were building in a crowd, making it also too loud for Vanessa to hear Charity tell them they had to go and find out what was happening.

As they left, they walked into inmates being ushered into a circle. Debbie and Chas looking like the ring conductors in the circus and Maya was the main attraction. 

Chastity had overheard Priya talking to Moria last night—unaware they knew each other from the outside. Priya ignored Moria’s advice to stay quiet and went to Debbie when she couldn’t find Charity after hearing they were the big guns. More than anything she was looking for protection and let slip what Maya was in for. Chas working in the kitchen with Debbie at the time of the confession, dropped her utensils and gathered up the inmates outside the sex offender’s cell.

“Listen up everyone!” Chas shouted before she crossed her arms over her chest and locked eyes with Maya. “You lot know why she’s in here, don’t you?”

“Chas, no!” Moira tried to pull at the other woman’s sleeve but Chas batted her away. 

“She’s a nonce,” Chas said without hesitation, smiling. 

Liv was confused. “She’s what?”

“She thinks it’s alright to have sex with underage boys,” Chas huffed. 

Kerry who had been standing behind the defendant in the doorway of their shared cell. She had listened to Maya’s story last night. Nothing but a pack of lies about working at the school and they reckon she was tempering with students grades. Kerry had joked about wanting a teacher to rig her grades and maybe she would have got somewhere in life. So when Chas had banged on their door, wanting words with Maya, she was confused but now she knew why. 

Kerry had done a lot of bad things in her life there were laws that aren’t meant to be broken. 

“I’ll rip your fucking throat out!” she said through gritted teeth right next to her ear before she shoved her into the circus ring. 

Charity had been watching closely at the scene unfolded, seeing her herd of Mean Girls run the show until it was time for the lion to enter. She ran a comforting hand down Vanessa’s back and made sure her and Tracy were okay before the walked through the crowd, them parting like the red sea. 

“Easy, easy, Kerry,” she started, standing figure over Maya to show her who is in charge and Debbie and Chas came to stand behind her. “We can’t be for sure now, can we? So come on then, Maya? What will it be?”

Maya didn’t say anything. She stood her ground in silence. Charity knew she had to kick it up a notch. 

“You see,” she said, pointing her shoulder in gesture at everyone gathered before folding her arms. “I have women around here that know what it feels like to be abused. Daddies who told them they loved them, especially when they wore little skirts. Women who turned to drink and drugs because not only did daddy like to touch them but when their favourite teacher, the man they thought was different to the parent because they said they would never hurt them like he did; they’re now called Mr Bastard because they used that power over them to do the same thing. And don’t get me started on other members of authority.”

Maya tightened her jaw, she bit down on her cheeks from the inside. She wasn’t exactly frightened of Charity but she was struggling with how she was going to defend herself. Charity grinned at Maya’s obvious discomfort. 

“I also have something different for you,” she continued. “You see Edna over there? She’s been here for as long as Skipdale has. She killed her babysitter after she caught her molesting her little sister for her husband’s own twisted sexual gratification. So you know what makes me more angry than the pig-arse men of this world? It’s the women who don’t protect them either. And Edna’s a woman of the church would you believe?”

“Doing God’s work, we say,” Lisa chuckled and she was met with cheers. 

“So what is it?” Charity asked. “Hubby like it when you touch little boys or did you do it all on your own? 

Maya gulped. “No comment.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Edna mumbled. 

“That’s what they all fucking say!” Kerry shouted. 

“You might want to be careful what you say next, love,” Chas spoke up. She pointed her finger in Maya’s face, ready to grab her if she needed. 

Seeing Maya so coldly stand amongst them and not frightened like her victims would be brought back memories of when her eight year old son, Aaron, told her her ex-husband, his father, had raped him. She was lucky she didn’t end up in prison then but now, there was no harm in adding a few years to her sentence. 

Maya’s eyes went dark, you could almost see the smirk and guilty verdict in them. She looked at Chas’ finger before biting her lip and looking her dead in the eye. 

“Any teenage boy would be lucky to get off with his teacher. I just—“

There was the final straw. The crowd roared and but Chas didn’t get bite back quick enough. Charity had stepped back, letting everyone else have a piece. She was thinking about Vanessa. But nothing was going to stop Leyla who had been edging herself closer, fighting her way out of Vanessa and Tracy’s death-like attempts to hold her back. 

She lunged at Maya, tackling her to the ground. They fought on the ground. Maya trying to worm herself out from underneath Leyla until Leyla took a swing at her face, coming in contact with her cheek and Maya grabbed Leyla’s hair in self-defence. She tried to gain control by grabbing a handful and pulling her off to the side. 

“Kill the nonce!” Kerry chanted along with the crowd. 

Having heard the commotion, Fenner and Josh were the first on the scene. Josh grabbed Leyla by her arms and yanked her so her back was flush against his front while Fenner had prized Maya’s hands out of the brunette’s hair and began positioning her to get her chuffed. 

Josh clicked Leyla’s into place as she fought to get free from him, Dom had to grab her legs to stop her from kicking and they carried her out of the block while Maya was calmly escorted out. 

“Sir, did you not see that! She admitted it!” Leyla screamed.

Governor Stewart ordered Kerry to be chuffed, too, while everyone else was sent back to their cells.

The ringing voice of Hollamby’s telling them to “move it!” echoed through the prison. 

* * *

“It was all true? You knew about this?” Vanessa shouted at Tracy when she forced her sister into her and Charity’s cell. There was no way she was going to let it go. 

“Of course I did!” Tracy said. “Why do you think I’m in here? I was protecting Leyla!” 

“As long as you weren’t protecting the nonce,” Charity scoffed.

Tracy couldn’t believe Charity had just said that. They hardly knew each other but Tracy thought Charity would have a bit more sense about her, being Vanessa’s sister at least.

“Of course I wasn’t protecting her!” tracy snapped back. “Priya saw her with Jacob, Leyla needed my help. Come on, Vee, you would have done the same in my situation!”

“I would have taken it to the police,” Vanessa said, sternly. 

“It’s not as easy as that,” Charity mumbled. 

Vanessa turned to Charity, shocked, her eyes close to clouding with tears. “It’s a damn sight better than anything!”

“What did you do Tracy?” Charity asked.

Tracy sighed. “We were on a night out. Priya had caught Maya necking Jacob. Layla’s his mum! She was always going to protect him. I just might have helped beat the shit out of her?”

“Tracy!” Vanessa cried. “Why…”

Charity went to wrap an arm around the distressed blonde’s shoulder but she was pushed away. She sighed deeply.

“Okay, look. I’ll look out for Tracy,” Charity told her. “Get a job at the kitchen, Trace, no one can touch you.”

“Pfft,” Tracy laughed. “You’re alright, thanks.”

“Tracy,” Vanessa whined again. 

“I’d rather share a cell with Maya,” Tracy responded. 

It’s not that she didn’t want to be living comfortably in isolation; she just wasn’t prepared to get involved in the mess of prison. Her strategy was that of Vanessa when she first arrived at Skipdale: head down, serve sentence and get out. 

Vanessa knew this was going nowhere. Not with Charity around. Vanessa felt Tracy was holding back on something because of the stranger in the room. 

“Can you leave us for a moment, Charity?” she asked.

“What? Why?”

“I want to talk to my sister. I don’t need you here—“

“Why not?” Charity asked. “I can help you—“

“No!” Vanessa shouted, louder than she expected. “Let me deal with it first. Please.”

“Ness, if this is going to cause you trouble, I—“

“Charity, please!” Vanessa interrupted her for the last time.

Charity admitted defeat. In typical fashion, she scoffed loudly. Frustrated to why she wasn’t welcome and slammed the cell door shut on her way out.

“Now, you tell me what exactly happened,” Vanessa said once she was gone.

The facts were they went out to a club in Hutton that night. They were having a good time until Maya disappeared and they were worried something happened to her unit Priya found her, out in the open, kissing Jacob like they were a couple. Priya felt sick to her stomach and had to run to Leyla who confronted her while Tracy tried to calm Priya down. It was only after Leyla came back asking Priya if it looked like Jacob was forcing himself on Maya that Tracy had no choice but she tointerfere. She had been engaged to his dad, David, once upon a time. She still felt a sense of responsibility for him. 

She wasn’t proud of it, torturing the truth out of Maya but it had to be done. Tracy knew the pain Maya was feeling was only an ounce of what Jacob would feel when he realised what had happened to him. 

It was easy to kick her in the mud and throw stones at her if she admitted the truth and when she did, the three of them felt nothing leaving her in the woods to die. 

Vanessa and Tracy broke down crying in each other’s arms. How did their seemingly perfect lives come to this? They couldn’t bear the thought of what their own father would think of them. Or Johnny about his mummy and his auntie being locked up. 

* * *

“Hey…” 

Charity didn’t come back to their cell until hours later. She knew it was best if she stayed away long enough for the sisters to sort it out. She didn’t grow up with siblings, she didn’t know what it felt like to be so angry at someone while also wanting to make sure they were okay.

Vanessa hadn’t realised she had fallen asleep from the exhaustion of her tears until she felt Charity shaking her out of her slumber. Luckily the day’s events didn’t follow her into her dreams. 

“What time is it?” Vanessa mumbled.

Charity didn’t have a watch but she still looked at her empty wrist and shrugged. “About seven, I think.”

Vanessa rocketed up from her bed, sitting up straight. “What?”

“You missed dinner, babe,” Charity laughed, tucking a loose strand of Vanessa’s hair behind her ear. 

“Why didn’t you wake me?” 

“Funny enough, I was too busy serving it up,” Charity said.

“Of course,” Vanessa nodded. “When did I fall asleep?”

Charity watched Vanessa get up from the bed and go over to the mirror in their cell to check herself over. The red and puffy look of someone fresh from crying was obvious on her features but Charity didn’t question it. 

“I don’t know,” she replied. “When did Tracy leave?”

“I don’t remember,” Vanessa rubbed her eyes. 

“Did you sort everything out, though?” 

Vanessa nodded. 

“Good,” Charity half-smiled. “It’s why I came really. I just wanted to say sorry for interfering.”

“It’s okay,” Vanessa replied before she moved back to Charity. She sat herself down on her lap, much to Charity’s surprise but she wasn’t going to question it. She accepted it and wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her in close. “I know you were just trying to help.”

“Exactly, babe,” Charity nudged her head on the smaller blonde’s shoulder to show her support. “If you want to sleep, I can go you know. I’m sure Lisa owes me rematch of _Snap!_ or there’s always a drama to be solved, so…”

“No,” Vanessa tilted Charity’s chin so they were looking at each other. “Stay.”

Charity didn’t get the chance to reply before Vanessa kissed her softly and melted in her arms. 

“Is this what’s going to happen every time we fall out, babe?” Charity asked after a while. “I come and say sorry and you want to kiss me.”

“No,” Vanessa blushed. “I just want you to know I’m sorry, too. It’s Tracy. I get overprotective.”

“That’s okay,” Charity squeezed her waist. “Are you scared?”

“For Tracy?” Vanessa questioned. “Of course I am. She could be charged with ABH. This shouldn’t be happening. She’s suppose to be looking after dad and Johnny…”

Vanessa surprised herself, remaining calm given the circumstances. The crying had taken it out of her. Charity sensed it and thought about her answers carefully. 

“She was provoked, babe,” she replied. “Come on. You just need to look out for her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Babe,” Charity said gently, rubbing her thumb over the back of Vanessa’s hand. “There are people out there and in here that would say what she tried to do is heroic, okay? And now that everyone knows, trust me, they’ll be trying to finish the job.”

“No!” Vanessa’s jaw dropped. She looked worried for her sister’s safety. 

“Maya’s going to get the best protection possible,” Charity tried to reassure her. “It’s what the screws have to do. The governor needs them protected, it saves their own arses.”

“But what if someone’s mad enough?” Vanessa asked. “What if they go for Tracy because they think she’s on Maya’s side?”

Charity grabbed Vanessa’s chin so they were made to look at each other. “For a start, I won’t let that happen. Second, Chas told me she was heard crying and banging on the walls all night in custody. That’s not sex offender behaviour.” 

“How do you know that?” Vanessa felt the tired burn of tears forming, she tried to push them away.

Charity caught it and wiped them away with her sleeve before the smaller blonde could. 

“I’ve been in here long enough,” she said softly. “Trust me, Ness. My girls will look out for her, Layla and Priya. My family will protect yours. It’s what we do.”

“Can you really promise that?” Vanessa sniffed. 

Charity forced a wobbly smile. “I can do my best.”

Vanessa reached down for Charity’s hand and held it tightly. She mouthed her gratitude before she smiled through tears and leaned her head on top of Charity’s.

“Can we just forget about it now?” Vanessa asked, playing with the taller blonde’s fingers. “At least for tonight, please?”

Charity watched their hands for a moment. Everything about Vanessa was soft. How she spoke, how she handled things and how she loved. Charity didn’t feel like a china doll, she felt cared for. No one had handled her so gently. 

“Why don’t you get in those cute pyjamas of yours and we count how many times we see a shit parcel go by.”

“Romantic,” Vanessa laughed. 

Charity shrugged her shoulders. “You got any better suggestions?”

Vanessa grabbed her face and brought their lips together. Charity quickly kissed her back. She intended on it being a short, chaste kiss just to put Vanessa’s thoughts to bed for the night but when she tried to pull away, Vanessa held her face firmly against her own and Charity had no choice but to turn Vanessa so she was straddling her lap and pull their bodies closer to each other and kiss her with as much urgency. 

They both knew where it was heading and neither of them did anything to stop it. Vanessa tightened her arms around Charity’s neck and did everything in her power to stop herself from grinding into Charity’s abdomen when her hands found their way under Vanessa’s shirt.

Still, not wanting to ruin what exactly it was that was going on between them, Charity asked if Vanessa was okay. She nodded and nuzzled her cheek in Charity’s hair as Charity kissed down her neck and to her shoulder, she pulled on the collar to get her lips on the skin there. 

Vanessa raised her arms so Charity could remove her shirt and then Charity brought her down onto the mattress. 

They continued kissing. Every time Charity tried to pull away, Vanessa’s hand on the back of her neck pulled her in again. Not that she was complaining, she would kiss her all night if that’s all the smaller blonde wanted. 

Until it became too much and Vanessa moved her hands under Charity’s shirt while her lips went to her chin, down her jawline to her neck and Charity had to catch Vanessa’s hands before it became too much for her.

She pinned Vanessa’s hands next to her head on the pillow. How she wanted Vanessa to touch her but not before she had touched her.

Charity moved so she was on laying beside Vanessa but still hovering over her bodyThe new position meant Charity could intertwine their fingers on one hand while the other moved down to the fastening of her trousers, slipping her fingers inside. 

Vanessa gasped and Charity quickly swallowed the sounds. 

That’s what Vanessa wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...let's just leave them to it, shall we? 
> 
> Also: thank you to Bad Girls for helping me set the scene as they did an episode like this. I should have said at the start, if you haven't seen that show, do familiarise yourself with the characters I mention because I've done very little to explain their personalities. 
> 
> And to the person who left a review asking if I bring Karen Betts into this: I'm really sorry. I don't. My girlfriend is disappointed in me, too, but I had to make Helen governor.


	7. Snuggler, Not Smuggler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In these difficult times I think we all deserve some fluff... from an AU about two girls in a different sort of lockdown... okay then. I made this.
> 
> Also, I got a review from "Karen Betts" and it excited the shit out of me! Until my girlfriend told me it was here which of course I knew anyway because it's a fictional character, of course. Still, I am sorry I left you out in favour of Helen! 
> 
> WARNINGS: none. Unless a mention of Fenner is one. Otherwise, much to even my surprise, nothing. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“ _Sometimes,_

I watch you when you’re sleeping

_I wonder what you’re feeling_ ”

— The Loving Kind

* * *

Vanessa woke up first. 

Since she had got involved with Charity, she realised it had been years since she had shared a bed with someone that wasn’t her son. The feeling of another person’s body heat next to her had her up earlier than she would have liked. Suppose it beat being forced awake because Johnny managed to worm his way down the bed and into a position that put his little foot in the curve of Vanessa’s back. Four year old’s have a stronger kick than you think. 

She looked at her watch with a groan. It wasn’t as early as she suspected, still it would only be a matter of time before Bodybag’s voice screeched through the walls. 

Turning over onto her side, Vanessa rested her head on a closed fist, her elbow dipping into the mattress, she used her spare arm to wrap around Charity’s waist and pull her closer to her body. She placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

Vanessa studied the other blonde’s sleeping face, she tucked the loose strand of hair that covered her eyes behind her ear. 

Charity had been patient, gentle—all the things Vanessa never expected a woman with a hard shell to be. 

Now she looked innocent, features soft for which you wouldn’t think she had a notorious reputation. The rest of her blonde locks sprayed across the pillow, Vanessa dragged her fingers through them lightly, her fingers getting caught along the way, a reminder of their not-so-innocent activities of the previous night. Charity groaned. 

Vanessa smiled softly. She brought her hand down to Charity’s shoulder then leaned into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. She resisted the temptation to kiss the skin, she didn’t want to push her luck.

Not that she could believe it. Charity had been the dream in the nightmare she was living. Not that she should get use to it. Nothing was certain, she couldn’t go getting herself to something that had its expiry date. Or best before it all goes wrong. 

Right now, she didn’t want to think about that. She wanted to enjoy the time she had with Charity. 

“Would you just… hurry up,” Charity groaned again.

Vanessa’s head snapped up. “Aye?” 

“Hmm,” she sighed, voice still rough with sleep as she patted around behind her before she found Vanessa and covered her face with her hand. “if you have a camera hidden somewhere, would you just please hurry up and take the photo before you burn a hole in my head.”

“I-I…,” Vanessa’s eyes widen. Her cheeks flooding red quickly, unaware she had been staring. “I… I don’t have one anywh—sorry.”

She pulled the hand away from her face before Charity could feel her skin burning. She kept it gripped tight in her own, resting her fingers over the taller blonde’s knuckles.

Charity had to laugh at Vanessa’s rush of words. She turned over to face her, moving so their hands stayed together but now rested between their bodies. She looked down at them quickly, running her thumb over Vanessa’s knuckles before looking up to meet her eyes. 

Charity’s eyes lit up, a small smile on her lips. Her opportunity to see how far she could push arising. 

“Well, if you did, I know where it isn’t hidden,” she raised her eyebrows.

Luckily, Vanessa knew it was playful joke but it didn’t stop her from really blushing, her face so flushed she hid it in Charity’s neck to cover her embarrassment. Charity had to laugh again, she found it amusing how quickly she could get Vanessa to react to her words. 

She wrapped her arm around the smaller blonde’s back and pulled her into a tight hug. 

“A snuggler, not a smuggler, aye?” Charity whispered into her hair. 

Vanessa pushed against her chest. “Stop it.” 

Charity had said something similar last night. After everything, Vanessa had curled up to Charity’s side. Charity made a snarky comment about how it’s all so informal but Vanessa nearly let go and told her to get in her own bunk if she wanted but Charity stopped her.

What Vanessa didn’t know was Charity longed to be held, no relationship or encounter in her past had been so intimate. 

Charity sighed. She used the space between them now to catch Vanessa’s mouth and kissed her softly. 

“You okay after yesterday?” 

Vanessa nodded and Charity didn’t pursue it further. 

Vanessa held the hand between her own tighter. Charity choose to ignore the death like grip and the chance to make a joke about how she ‘needs them, you know’, just to lighten the mood again, knew she’d given enough material for one morning. Instead, she moved so she leaned over her body and entwined their legs together. 

Vanessa couldn’t believe how much she wanted Charity. She didn’t want to let go. 

The innocence of hand holding reminded her she wasn’t alone, even if it was those exact hands that got Charity in the prison. She didn’t think about how she could be capable of murder, choosing to believe the taller blonde’s versions of events because she trusted her. 

Charity knew time was getting on. She knew she was expected in the kitchen first thing. 

She shifted her body so she had space to let go of Vanessa’s hand, but her girlfriend out up a fight. Just as she went to protest, their time was officially over.

There was a loud knock on their door. The two women broke a part to follow the sound.

“Move it!” Bodybag shouted into the air from outside. 

Vanessa threw her head back onto the pillow while Charity groaned. 

“You better get in your own bed before she sees,” Vanessa said quietly.

Charity smiled before she nudged her nose with the smaller blonde’s. “I think we should let her.” 

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “No, Charity.”

Charity went to respond then she held the key and she got out of Vanessa’s in lightening speed and grabbed her jeans, one leg in before Bodybag opened the door. 

“Dingle, get dressed. You’re expected for work!” 

And like that, No Nonsense Hollamby was gone again. 

* * *

The corridors were filled with their usual morning rush. Bodies passing in every direction, some patted Charity on the arm; respect for their Top Dog. While Diane and Jessie stopped to ask Vanessa if she was joining them for breakfast to which she agreed. 

“Better get a move on then, might I?” Charity said, leaning against the doorframe to their cell. Curious of the space between them, Vanessa didn’t stand too close. “Will I see you later?”

“If you want to.”

Charity looked around before she leaned into her. “Of course I do.”

Vanessa grinned. “It’s a date then.”

Charity smiled. 

She went to walk away when she realised she wasn’t wearing her skull cap. She moved passed Vanessa to retrieve it. She brushed Vanessa’s back when she approached the door again. Vanessa jumped slightly. 

“See ya later.”

If Charity could have kissed Vanessa there and then, she would have. Even if it was just on the cheek. 

Vanessa smiled as she walked away. She looked up and down the corridors, the rush now slowing down. 

“Morning, Liv,” she greeted the young offender. 

“You two looked cosy,” Liv pointed in Charity’s direction, trying not to be obvious she knew something was happening between them.

Vanessa laughed nervously. _Where they making it obvious?_

“It’s these narrow doorways, isn’t it?” she said quickly, brushing her hand down the wood. “Just about enough space for one person.” 

Liv nodded. “Yeah, I suppose.”

Liv hadn’t actually seen anything this time. She was more surprised she’d seen Charity being nice. Even when Charity shared with Chas, she never took notice of space awareness, Chas was normally met with a shove to the shoulder if she was in way of the door. 

“You fancy some breakfast? Di and Jessie have saved a table for us,” Vanessa changed the subject. 

“Yeah,” Liv smiled. 

Vanessa let Liv lead the way so she couldn’t see her wipe the sweat from her forehead. 

* * *

“Hey…”

Vanessa turned in surprise at the unexpected voice. She had been mid-way through pairing up socks; lost in her own world that she didn’t hear the washroom door open. 

“Hey…,” she smiled nervously. 

Vanessa was still trying to get used to the attention. Why wasn’t the top dog off bothering the other inmates and using her time to learn something new, it’s not like there wasn’t the resources to. 

When Vanessa entered Skipdale, she only ever saw Charity with her Mean Girls, why wasn’t she wasting her hours with them? 

“No Jessie?”

“No,” Vanessa snapped out of her thoughts. “I-I told her to go. Only got this left to do anyway.”

She pointed to the basket before picking out another pair to fold. It gave her hands something to do, she felt less awkward about being in a tight space. 

“Ah,” Charity hummed. “Don’t know why you’re bothering, babe. Like anyone gives a shit if their folded. Just bang them in a drawer.”

Vanessa sighed. She felt the mother in her coming out. She couldn’t stop herself from sounding like a proud housewife.

“Some of us like to keep our homes tidy,” she said. “And Fenner likes this place to be run like a tight ship, I’m sure he’d find the time to complain.”

Charity scoffed. “He likes something tight, that’s for sure.”

“Charity,” Vanessa said sternly. 

The taller blonde shrugged, not fazed by what she said. She couldn’t find the lie. 

“Anyway,” Vanessa broke the silence. She folded the last pair she could find and threw them into basket and turned to face a smirking Charity with it in her arms, ready to back to their cell block. “There. All done.”

“Oh, goodie,” Charity smiled. “You can pay attention to me now, then.”

“You’re like a needy puppy.”

“They don’t call me top dog for nothing, babe.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Is there something you wanted, Charity?”

“When you put it like that,” Charity hummed. 

She took steps towards Vanessa, slowly she took the offending item from her hands and placed it carelessly behind them. She moved into the space. Placing her hands on the smaller blonde’s hips, she walked her backwards until Vanessa’s back hit the washing machine before bringing her mouth to hers. Vanessa didn’t stop her.

“Sit,” Charity said, breathlessly. Vanessa didn’t question her. Anything was better than the edges of the dryer digging into her back right now. She pulled herself up with the help of Charity—she wasn’t exactly the teenager she felt like right now—and say herself on the edge. Charity moved herself between her legs and quickly pulled her back into the kiss. 

The kiss continued to deepen and soon both women were breathing hard through their noses and clutching at each other’s clothes. Charity gripped Vanessa’s thighs, pulling her body closer if it was even possible.

“Ever heard of a good spin cycle, babe?” Charity asked between kisses. 

“Charity, don’t ruin it,” Vanessa gasped, breaking the kiss and resting their foreheads against each together’s. Charity quickly apologised and they quickly captured lips again. 

Vanessa rocked her hips into Charity’s front and she took it as a sign. She reached her hands to make work of Vanessa’s trousers before dropping to her knees to help take them off when Vanessa stopped her.

Whimpering, frustrated and aroused, she watched Charity move down her body; her hands ran through her hair as she went. 

It happened so quickly that Vanessa hadn’t registered what was about to happen. 

“Charity,” Vanessa gulped. 

Charity stopped and looked up. Vanessa shook her head. Charity didn’t need to told anymore. She stood up and wrapped her arms around Vanessa. 

“Sorry,” Vanessa whispered in her ear. Charity kissed the skin on her neck. 

“You don’t need to be,” Charity smiled. “We can just kiss, it’s fine.”

“Until you have to get back to the kitchen, right?” Vanessa held her face, locking eyes. She rubbed her thumb over the other woman’s bottom lip, enjoying how soft it felt. She smiled when Charity kissed it unexpectedly.

“Hmm,” Charity mused, leaning towards her again, hands safely resting on her hips. “Five more minutes.”

* * *

Vanessa hadn’t really had much time to think about Tracy today. Charity had done a good job of keeping her otherwise occupied. Working as well meant she couldn’t run into her but she was surprised not to see her walking around the block they shared. Vanessa put it down to the prison being a big place and they just managed to miss each other. 

Before she knew it, it was late and the inmates were being locked into their cells for the night. Too late to find Tracy now. 

Instead, Vanessa found herself lying on her bed looking at the picture of her family. Tracy and herself looking like butter wouldn’t melt. A father smiling with pride. She knew that wouldn’t be the case if she saw him now. She doubt whether or not he’d ever come to see her again. It was only thing to have one daughter in for a crime. But two? Do you treat them differently, figure out who’s the bad person or not? Or cut them off all together? If she could be a fly on the wall back home right now, she would. 

She ran a finger over his face before focusing on Johnny. Her sweet, sweet Johnny. They shared the same eyes, it’s like she could see herself staring back at her. She had gone through so much to have him and she had taken it away. By the time she got out, he probably wouldn’t recognise her. Not as his mother anyway, not if Frank was being his caregiver.

“I swear to fucking God if that fucking bastard Fenner doesn’t learn what personal fucking space means, I will set Brenda on him! Hell, I’ll even do it myself! What’s another one to the list?”

“Give it a rest, Dingle,” Hollamby shouted. She grabbed Charity by the arm and pushed her into her cell. She told her it’s lights out and locked the door behind her before it became a drama.

“Can you believe her?” Charity pointed back towards the door as she headed to meet Vanessa on the bed. Vanessa looked at her, confused. She quickly folded her picture into her lap before the fiery blonde continued.

“The knobhead stood so close to me and because, _apparently_ , ‘as a senior member of staff, it’s my job to escort you safely back to your cell’,” she said, mockingly using air-quotes, “the fact I could feel _his_ knobhead poking me isn’t a reason for concern in her eyes.”

She sighed deeply, throwing herself down on Vanessa’s mattress. “Sometimes, I swear she wants a piece of him. She’s fucking welcome to him. Maybe he likes an older woman and he can leave me and the young ones alone. Disgusting little prick. Literally.”

While Charity found it funny, Vanessa scoffed in disgust. 

“Do you have to be so candid?” 

“Oh, big word! Do you have to be so prude?” Charity asked back. “It’s what a lot of the men in here are like.”

“I know, I know,” Vanessa sighed. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Charity sat up on her arms. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself. He just makes my blood boil.”

“I know,” Vanessa repeated, she smiled at her over her shoulder. 

“Anyway,” Charity sung, pointing to her hand, noticing she was holding something. “What you got there?”

“It’s nothing.”

“No, go on,” Charity persisted. “Make me forget about what I just said. What you got there?”

Vanessa sighed. Charity knew about Tracy, it’s not like she was really hiding something anymore. 

“It’s my family. See,” she pointed to her sister, “there’s Tracy. And that’s my dad—“

“Little silver fox,” Charity cooed. “I see where his kids get their looks from.”

“Stop it,” Vanessa rolled her eyes, half-heartedly before she lingered on her little boy. “And that… that’s my son, Johnny.”

Charity’s eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting that, but now she could see the resemblance. She didn’t want to question anything but she couldn’t help but make a comment. 

“He’s cute.”

Vanessa smiled widely. “Thank you.”

Charity moved closer so she could rest her chin on Vanessa’s shoulder. Vanessa kissed the top of her head.

“I’ll look out for her, you know,” Charity said, her eyes fixed on Tracy in the picture. “And you, of course. But I’ll make sure everyone in here knows she, Priya and Leyla weren’t protecting Maya. I’ll make sure they know there’s only one enemy, okay?” 

“Thank you.” Vanessa nodded. 

“I protect those I care about. That’s from anyone that’s important to me to family. You’re important to me and Tracy’s family which means she’s important to you. I won’t let anyone hurt her.”

Vanessa put the photo down on her bedside table before she turned to Charity, she crossed her legs before taking the blonde’s hands. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t,” Charity said. “They can’t hurt me.”

“You’re important to me, too, Charity. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you.”

“I’ve got this,” the top dog squeezed her hands for reassurance. “I’ve ran this place long enough. I know what I’m doing.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“I am sure,” Charity smiled then kissed her to let her know she was serious. 

Vanessa searched Charity’s eyes for any doubt and when she couldn’t find any, she smiled. She knew Charity had her bad girl ways but she felt she was seeing the real Dingle, the one only a lucky few get to see. 

“I’m sorry about earlier, by the way,” Charity said after a moment of silence. “You know I’d never make you do something you didn’t want to do.”

Vanessa quickly realised she was talking about earlier in the laundrette. “I know. You just took me by surprise. I’m not a complete prude, you know.”

Charity raised her eyebrows, happy they could easily make the mood light-hearted again. She moved in close to her face, her hands resting on the top of the other woman’s thighs. Vanessa reacted to the touch. “I bet you’re not.”

“Alright,” Vanessa pushed her face away, laughing. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“I told you about my family,” she looked down. “Where are your family now?”

“You mean the thousands of cousins and the daughter that are in here with us? Charity chuckled.

“No, your other kid,” she said softly. “Ryan, was it?”

“Yeah,” she smiled at their names. “He’s, um, Ryan has always lived with his adopted mother. I never raised him because I didn’t even know he was alive until I went to court. She recognised my family in the paper and got in contact. She’s one of the reasons I wasn’t done for murder because I was able to prove through Ryan that Bails had raped me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Vanessa reached for her hand. 

“We figured because I killed his dad, it’s best he doesn’t know about me, although she used to send me updates, like photographs but he’s fully grown now.. He gave me the DNA I needed and that’s it.”

“So if he wanted to learn who his real mum is, he could?”

“Yep,” Charity bit back the tears. “But I don’t think he ever will and I’ve learnt to live with that. Now can we please talk about something else please? Tell me about Johnny.”

“Really?”

Charity nodded. They moved to lay down, making themselves so vulnerable, Charity wanted to be comfortable. She reached out and played with the collar on Vanessa’s nighttime shirt. 

“You know more about my kids than I know about yours and I bet you’ve got some really happy memories,” she looked at her. “I want to know about them.”

“What do you want to know about him?”

“How did you come up with the name Johnny for start.”

Vanessa laughed. “Funny story… well…”

That night, they stayed up for hours. learning probably about each other’s families without judgement. 

Slowly, they felt themselves falling but neither of them could admit it. Not yet. It was too soon. 


	8. Rare: Special or Freakish?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should have been uploaded earlier not my girlfriend also had me write something else so that's my excuse. We're getting towards the finish line now... 
> 
> Had to a have chapter about Liv because she's one of my favourites in this and I think it's important with some light humour added in because I need it, too.
> 
> WARNINGS: mention of self destruct (I think that's the right word) from the start. Also, Liv's thoughts on sexuality. These are not mine.

“ _Just because you’re raising the bet and call the shots_ ”

— Call The Shots

* * *

“Hey, you…”

The following morning, Vanessa went to Liv’s cell.

She didn’t like that she had been neglecting her original friends recently. None of them had said anything to her like they were kids in a school but she still felt bad. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she helped Liv with her coursework so she went to see how she was getting on and lend a hand.

Vanessa hadn’t expected to wait outside the door, wondering if she was even in there. She knocked lightly again before pushing it gently enough she could see inside.

She wasn’t prepared to see Liv face down on the bed, one arm lifelessly hanging off the side frame. 

When Vanessa couldn’t see her body move, she panicked and ran over, ruthlessly pushing her onto her side

“Liv!” she shouted as she shook her body to life.

Liv let out a shaky breath, almost gasping for air, before she turned herself over and stared Vanessa in the face. Her eyes looked lifeless.

“Liv!” Vanessa shouted again. “Can you hear me?”

Liv coughed and shook her head. She tried to sit up but struggled. Vanessa managed to hook an arm under Liv’s and sat her upright. She held her cheeks in her hands, gently caressing her face in the hope it would soothe her. Her eyes are bloodshot and she could smell the alcohol on her breath. 

Vanessa hadn’t noticed the sprawled out pieces of paper on the floor along with items of Liv’s belongings and the empty plastic bottle next to her feet. Thankfully, she hadn't drank herself into oblivion. The tears overpowered her ability to drink anymore and she hadn't realised she passed out from her crying.

“What happened?” Vanessa asked before Liv pushed her hands away.

“That fucking bastard,” Liv clenched her jaw. 

“Who?”

Liv looked at her puzzled. “Fucking Fenner, obviously.”

“Ah,” Vanessa mouthed. She rested her hand on the younger woman’s knee and this time, she didn’t push her away. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I was doing my school stuff. He told me it was fucking pointless,” Liv sobbed, sucking in a deep breath to try and stop herself. She rubbed her eyes. “Something about me never getting out a-and I can have all the brains I want but no one is still going to l-love me.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Lv huffed. 

Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “He can’t just say stuff like that.”

“He can and he will,” Liv replied sternly. “Do you have any idea what he’s like?”

“I have a rough idea,” Vanessa said, lowering her head.

“Be grateful.”

“He can’t just say you’re unlovable, though,” Vanessa sighed, lifting Liv’s chin so they were looking at each other. She swallowed hard when she saw the hurt on Liv’s face. “He might not like a lady with a brain but any man—or woman—would be lucky to have such an smart woman on their arm.”

“You don’t know me very well either, then,” Liv tried to smile. “I’m a freak, Vanessa.”

“Now, that’s a bit far,” Vanessa fought back. She sat back. “You made a mistake and when you serve your sentence, the right person will see that.”

Vanessa wasn’t getting it. Liv almost wanted to tell her to leave and push her away like she did with everyone else, but that was never going to solve her problems. She had to stop running, stop crying and turning to danger to drown those issues. 

With a thumping heart and sweaty palms, she took in a deep breath in and stared at Vanessa, ready to bite the bullet. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

Vanessa nodded. 

“How did you know you liked girls?” she breathed out. 

Vanessa’s eyes went wide. She wasn’t expecting that. Suddenly, it was her body that was shredded with nerves, unsure of how to answer.

“I-I don’t… I—“ she stuttered.

“I saw you and Charity together,” Liv said bluntly before she held up her hands when she caught Vanessa’s look of horror.. “I haven’t told anyone, though, don’t worry.”

“Charity and I are close, yes,” Vanessa admitted. “It doesn’t mean I’m gay, though.”

Liv nodded. She understood. Even if it’s wasn’t what she was getting at but Liv needed the disclosure she hadn’t imagined what she had seen between them first before she opened herself up to someone else she thought she could trust, like those she called ‘friends’ before she committed a crime. 

“But you want to kiss her, right?” she asked.

“Y-yes,” Vanessa swallowed. 

Vanessa sensed there was more to it than girls kissing girls. If she was going to do anything good with her time in here, it was going to be helping the younger ones make good choices and not have them struggle through life, questioning themselves and afraid to live openly as she did.

“Do you want to talk about this?” Vanessa asked, rubbing her knee again. “I’m not saying I can help but I might be able to understand.”

“You know my case, right?” Liv asked first. She wanted to make sure she didn’t have to explain that mess before she turned into one. She was relived when Vanessa said someone might have mentioned it.

“I thought I liked a girl back home but then I realised I only thought I did because I wasn’t attracted to this boy, Noah,” she started. “And if you’re not attracted to boys then you must be attracted to girls, right? Isn’t that how it’s suppose to work?”

“Well, I’m not so sure on that, Liv, but—“ Vanessa tried to say before Liv interrupted her to continue with her story.

“When I first came in here there was a girl, Leanna—she was in for theft, I think. She wasn’t here long. They moved her away somewhere,” Liv waved her hand. “She was beautiful. She was so confident, knew her own mind; she was badass. I wanted to be around her all the time but still, the thought of kissing her or anything more, I felt nothing but disgust. I realised I wanted to be her, not with her. You know, Josh? The technician?”

Liv picked at the skin at the corner of her hands as she waited for Vanessa to nod then grabbed her pillow to take her anxiety out on before she bleed and then, she carried on. 

“He was really nice to me when I first started doing school in here. He’s really good at English but then he got caught helping me and he’s been made to keep his distance since but I really liked him. I almost made a move on him until I realised it would ruin everything,” Liv huffed a laugh. “So I was like, am I straight? I had bigger feelings for him and Noah than I did the girls. Maybe if I got to know someone more and I would build up trust over time and it would be okay.”

Vanessa had listened and she didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t enjoyed being with men in her past but at least she could still say she was physically and sexually attracted to them at the time.

“Have you thought about seeing a doctor or a therapist about this?” Vanessa asked, thinking it was the best she could do.

Liv scoffed at the latter. “Like Skipdale would fork out for one of them. I did go to Dr Nicholson once.”

“And what did he say?”

“You know he’s called Dr No-No for a reason, right?” Liv smiled mockingly at her. “He’s shit. Said my thing with Leanna was brainwashing by the lesbians in here.”

Vanessa blew out her cheeks. She had read things like that in her school textbooks that dated back to nineteen-forties, about homosexual males being predators pushing their unnatural desires on the innocent. She didn’t think opinions like that still existed. 

“‘Females are only suppose to be attracted to males, it’s human nature, as is sex. Eventually one day, you’ll want to do it’,” Liv quoted Nicholson. 

“Wow.”

“Right? Anyway, he gave me a bunch of leaflets he has in his office,” Liv faked a grin and gave two thumbs up and waved them about, “because it’s his job to give advice, obviously.”

“Did they help?” Vanessa asked, seriously.

Liv pursed her lips. 

“They’re just filled with words. Words I needed explaining but no one I talk to in here seems to know and I’m scared to talk to anyone I don’t trust anyway so be amazed I’m talking to you. Don’t want you to think I’m a freak,” Liv almost sang. 

Speaking quickly, Vanessa just about managed to keep up and register what was said. 

“You are not a freak,” she replied.

“Really?” Liv said softly again, cocking an eyebrow. “So why did those books tell me what I’m feeling isn’t common? Usually anything rare makes you a freak.”

“Something rare can also be very special,” Vanessa stated. 

“Don’t you get it?”

Liv had had enough. She got up, throwing the pillow off her lap and she grabbed fists of her hair before she faced a confused Vanessa.

“I can’t be a heterosexual because I don’t want to have sex with men! I can’t be a homosexual because I don’t want to have sex with women! Which also means, I’m not bi, does it?” she asked sarcastically, not expecting an answer. “Can’t be pansexual ‘cause I don’t feel anything to anybody so what does that leave me with? Asexual! Oh but wait, I don’t think I can feel romantic feelings either so what is that? Aromantic! Who’s even heard of that? And don’t get me started on that whole plus bit of LGBTQA-whatever!”

“Liv,” Vanessa pleaded. She tried grabbing the smaller blonde’s hand but she moved away and Vanessa sighed, defeated. “Please sit down.”

Liv ignored her.

“How can anyone not what affection!” she said, now pacing up and down her cell. “That book just confuses me. There’s something in there about feeling sexual attraction when an emotional bond is formed or some shit. Why can’t I have that?!”

“Because that’s not you, Liv,” Vanessa tried to understand.

“I’m a freak, Vanessa!” 

Liv finally cracked. The broken sounds of her cries fell as she did to the ground. On her knees, she cried into her hands and Vanessa rushed over to elope her into her arms. She rocked her, head in her hands as she tried to sooth her.

“You will figure it out. You’re only young now,” Vanessa whispered into her hair. “Someone will love you for who you are and accept everything you are. There’s no rush. Please don’t think being in here, you have to feel something. You have me to talk to, even if I can’t give you the answers you need.”

Liv nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. She removed herself from Vanessa’s hold. They sat, cross legged, on the floor together.

“Maybe you should speak to Ms Stewart about really getting a therapist in here,” Vanessa said. 

“I’ve been to the governor loads of times about it,” Liv replied. “She says she’ll think about it but she never does.”

“Figures.”

They let silence fall between them. Vanessa’s heart bled for Liv but she was grateful Liv was about to let out some long hidden frustration. She wanted to be her usual caring self and hug Liv but she didn’t want to make her or set her off again, if she was as sensitive as herself.

Eventually, Liv’s cheeks returned to a healthy colour and Vanessa started seeing light in her eyes. She helped her off the floor and Liv surprised her by wrapping her arms tightly around her body. Vanessa sighed in relief at the welcomed embrace. 

“Hey, listen to me,” Vanessa said, holding onto her shoulders. “If Fenner ever does this to you again, you come and see me.”

“It’s just Fenner,” Liv scoffed. “I don’t actually give a shit about him.”

“Just caught you on a bad day then, yeah?” Vanessa winked at her and they agreed together.

“He thinks he can have any woman he likes in here,” Liv frowned.

Vanessatilted her head towards her and grinned. “Not this one.”

“Or this one,” Liv grinned.

_That’s better_ , Vanessa thought. 

It was now Vanessa’s duty to make Liv forget about it. Forget she shouldn’t be ashamed for who she is. Forget she let herself get upset over a waste of space.

She picked up the scattered coursework from the floor and handed them to Liv.

“Let’s work on getting you out of here.” 

* * *

Vanessa spent most the afternoon with Liv. They went to lunch together and Charity told Vanessa she was free after and Liv couldn’t help but laugh until Vanessa’s smacked her arm. After finishing an assignment, Liv wanted inside scoop on their relationship and Vanessa may or not have let it slip how many times they’ve snuck off together during Charity’s lunch breaks. 

“Table service,” Charity said when she brought over chocolate mousses to where they were seated. “I whipped them up myself.”

“No, you fucking didn’t!” Chas shouted from behind the counter.

“The only whipped she is is whipped for Vanessa,” Debbie said, coming up behind Charity. Her arms folded over her chest.

“More like she’s whipped _by_ Vanessa,” Liv mumbled.

Vanessa gasped and whacked her again. 

Charity’s mouth fell open before she smirked. “Spilling my secrets, are we, Woodfield?”

“Mother!” Debbie squealed in disgust, equally hitting her as hard on the arm. Charity reacted, yelping at the sudden pain.

On the other side of the room, Chas and Lisa had been listening obviously. It was most exciting thing to happen in the canteen in ages. 

“Are we suppose to believe they’re not fucking each other’s brains out?” Chas mused, her eyes narrowed.

“Oh, love,” Lisa turned away, feeling nausea at the thought of it. “Too much.”

It made Chas chuckle watching the older woman use the walls to support herself until she was out of the room. Chas, on the other hand, wanted to grab popcorn to see what was revealed next. 

“It’s _not_ what you think!” Vanessa tripped over her words. “I smacked her bum _once_ because she wouldn’t move out of the way.”

“And Charity liked it,” Liv laughed.

“Okay!” Debbie shouted, covering her ears. “Enough!” 

Charity found the scene amusing, watching Vanessa slowly sink down into her chair while everyone else wanted out of the conversation.

“Anyway, stop sticking your nose in, violent creature,” Charity said to Debbie. 

That was enough for Vanessa look again at Charity. This time, confused as she lanced between the mother and daughter. 

“Oh, you haven’t told her why I’m here?” Debbie asked when she saw Vanessa’s confused expression. “Seeing as we’re airing our dirty secrets. I beat nine bells out of my dad because he didn’t believe Mum was abused.”

Vanessa’s mouth fell open as she nodded. 

“And now we’re reunited as a family, aren’t we?” she wrapped her arm around Charity’s neck and squeezed her against her face. 

“She defended my honour,” Charity said mockingly, holding Debbie’s hands.

Debbie quickly kissed her cheek before going back to work, waving over her shoulder at Charity and Vanessa until she disappeared into the supply cupboard. 

“So, what do you think?” Charity asked about the puddings, coming up to stand behind Vanessa, crossing her arms over the smaller blonde’s shoulders. Vanessa rested her head against her arm and cooed before eating a mouthful. 

“Not bad, you know,” Vanessa said with her hand over her mouth.

Charity smiled proudly. “Thank yo—“

“Thank you!” Chas interrupted. “Family recipe. You’re welcome!” 

“Shut up, Chas!” Charity hissed.

It’s not like she wanted to impress Vanessa, but she was hoping to prove she wasn’t pointless and a one trick pony. 

“Thank you,” Vanessa said to Chas before she looked up at Charity. “Both of you.”

Charity grinned smugly. She put her nose in Vanessa’s hair and breathed in her shampoo. She wanted to kiss her but didn’t think it was appropriate.

“Woodfield! Dingle!” 

Charity’s head shot up as Hollamby stepped into the canteen at her usual fast rate pace as if she was a spy on a mission. 

“New rules,” she said, snapping her fingers in the lifer’s face to draw her attention. “Two metres a part at all times.”

Charity didn’t let up. “Since when?”

“Since I made it up right now,” Hollamby said assertively. 

“We weren’t doing anything, Miss,” Charity rolled her eyes, refusing to move. Vanessa tensed up and tried to hide herself behind Charity’s arms.

Bodybag looked them up and down. “Anything, my eye. You’re practically groping the poor girl.”

“Not quite,” Charity pursed her lips in thought. She had an idea. She smirked before moving a hand towards Vanessa’s chest, “but if you want me to—“

Vanessa quickly realised what she was getting at and slapped her hand away. “Charity!”

Hollamby scoffed and turned her head away in disgust. “I came to tell you there will be no more funny business. As from today, Maya will be your new roommate.”

Vanessa gasped as she pushed Charity’s arms away from her and sat up correctly. “Who’s idea was that?”

Bodybag smirked. “Governor’s orders.”

* * *

“Charity, this can’t be right,” Vanessa panicked.

They had gone back to their cell. Thankful none of Maya’s stuff had been put in. It meant she was still in the moving process and the women had time to disgust their new living arrangement. Charity couldn’t help but think Bodybag was onto them and this was a way to keep them apart. It’s something she would do but there was no one she could ask to find out the truth.

“They can’t do this,” Charity rubbed her chin. “She’s connected to Tracy’s case and you’re family.”

Vanessa sighed. “Do they know that though?”

“What do you mean?”

“Tracy’s last name is Shankley. We have different mums,” Vanessa confessed. 

“What, you think that’s why this has happened?” Charity asked, rubbing Vanessa’s shoulders. “They don’t know you’re related? They can do when they want then, Ness. They don’t know you have a connection to Maya.”

“I thought you would have the answers,” Vanessa’s voice cracked. 

“I’m not in control of the governor,” Charity sighed, worried for Vanessa’s mental health. 

“We’re just going to have to deal with it, aren’t we?” 

Charity nodded. “I’m not happy about it either, babe. But you’ve got me, if she wants to play, I’m ready to fight back.”

Vanessa dropped her shoulders, shaking her head. She wanted this nightmare to be over. “Please don’t do something stupid.”

“I’m in for life, Vee,” Charity mused. “There isn’t much more I can do wrong.”

* * *

That evening, just before Vanessa was due to meet with Jessie and Diane to watch the five o’clock news, as Charity was in the kitchen, Hollamby barged into her cell, Maya in tow with her bags and dropped them at the door. She introduced her new cellmate as if they needed an introduction. Vanessa didn’t stay around for long. She had somewhere to be anyway, it wasn’t an excuse to leave but it worked. She shoved past Maya, not caring about Bobybag’s concern for the sex offender’s unpleasant welcome.

Later, after dinner and a few card games with the girls to take her mind off things, Vanessa returned to her cell for bed. She was surprised to find Charity alone on her bunk with a crossword puzzle. 

“Where’s Maya?” she asked. 

Not taking her eyes of the book, Charity shrugged. “Terrorising someone, I imagine.”

“I thought that was your job,” Vanessa joked as she stepped on her bed to help her onto Charity’s. 

She sat opposite her, legs stretched out. She nudged Charity on her arm with her foot to get her attention. They smiled at each other before looking back down at the task in hand. She rubbed Vanessa’s leg to reassure her why also wanting to touch her in any way she can when she’s close.

“It is but recently I’ve had better things take up my time,” Charity winked. 

Vanessa put her hands in her lap. “Don’t let your lot think I’m a bad influence.”

Charity tapped her pen on her chin. “I’m sure Chas would love my crown.”

Vanessa chuckled before she pointed at the crossword. 

“Can I help?” 

Charity pursed her lips. “Four down, six letters. Has a U in it.”

“What’s the clue?”

“Heroic act. The cryptic is: save someone’s bacon. It's not help at all,” Charity tilted her head and closed one eye, thinking. 

“Rescue?” Vanessa suggested.

“Oh,” Charity tutted, writing it down. “Duh!”

“That reminds me,” Vanessa said. “Does Liv have a history at all?”

“As in?” Charity mused as her eyes darted over the next clue that she knew straight away.

“Like, struggles?” 

Charity filled in her answer and put the puzzle book down. It could wait. Vanessa was more important.

“She used to find a way to drink a lot when she first came here but kind of stopped after the deep talking fixer guy started helping her with school,” Charity replied.

Vanessa looked down. “That explains it.” 

“Why, has something happened?”

“I went to check on her this morning and she was out cold in her cell.”

Charity sat up. “Who supplied her? I’ll have it out—“

“Please don’t,” Vanessa pleaded, putting her hand on the taller blonde’s knee. “That’s not what this is about. I was just shocked, is all. She told me some secrets.”

“Is it she wants the mechanic to fix her pipes cause they _don’t_ leak?”

“Charity!” Vanessa whined. “Don’t be disgusting. She’s really anxious about it, you know.”

“I know but she won’t let anyone help her,” Charity shrugged. 

“There’s no one in here like her,” Vanessa replied. “She feels alone.” 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Well, that’s what I was getting to,” Vanessa swallowed. “She told me she saw us kissing the other day.

Charity’s eyes widened in surprise. “And that doesn’t whet her appetite either? I hope you’re not about to tell me you kissed her, babe, because I’ll—“

“No!” Vanessa protested. “I’m telling you people know about us. Not that you haven’t been exactly secretive about it.”

Charity noticed Vanessa went shy. She scooted on the bed so she was closer to Vanessa, she wrapped an arm around her back. 

“Sorry, babe,” she frowned. “Are you not okay with—“

“It’s not that,” she relaxed into Charity’s touch. “It’s just I worry who might find out.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“Hmmm,” Vanessa cooed. 

Charity held a hand up in defence. “It’s true. I haven’t told anyone what a good kisser you are which is why I worried about Liv because you spend a lot of time with her and if she was interested in you, I can’t have her thinking you are available when you’re not.”

Vanessa pushed on her shoulder. “I’m not interested in her like that.”

“Good,” Charity nudged her. “You belong in my bed.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes “Really? You think because you’re top dog you can tell me what I can do?” 

“Nope,” Charity closed her mouth, fighting back a smile. “But I can tell you we should be making the most of this free time right now before that nonce comes back.”

“At least you don’t have to worry she’ll want to join in.”

“Oh, babe,” Charity turned her nose up. “Grim image.”

Vanessa laughed.

If you had told her a couple of months back she would have to share a cell with Charity Dingle she would have laughedin your face, go to the governor and find every sensible reason why having them share was a terrible idea.

Now, everyday, the idea excited her. She wasn’t pleased about their new cellmate. She had loved that they had their own little space for a while, away from preying eyes. She got to see the Charity she was falling for.

She squealed in delight when Charity leaned over her body, moving so she was holding her thighs were either side of the taller blonde’s waist and kissed her, tongues and all. Vanessa’s hand on the back of Charity’s head pulled her in closer before Charity rocked her hips into hers. 

They broke the kiss but only for a moment. Charity removed Vanessa’s shirt before she pulled her body close to hers. Vanessa’s caressed Charity’s arms, her muscles twitching under the soft touch. 

When it became too much, Charity pushed Vanessa gently back into the mattress. Their lips never losing contact until Charity moved downwards. Kissing Vanessa’s chin, neck, collarbone and the valley between her breasts, towards the apex of her thighs. 

She looked up at Vanessa and met her eyes before she continued. Vanessa was breathless but she managed a nod and Charity hooked her fingers under the elastic of her trousers. 

Before the sudden swing of the metal door opening caused them to separate. Vanessa ripped the sheets from the bed in a bid to cover herself while Charity shouted profanity at the rude interferer. Vanessa watched from in between her fingers. Her cheeks were burning red.

“Well, well,” Maya smirked, her hips on her hips. “I never had you down as a rug muncher, Vanessa.”

Charity had no shame. She jumped down from the bed while Vanessa searched for her top to put back on. 

She got level with Maya, looking down on her as she crossed her hands over her chest.

“She never thought you would be a nonce but here we are,” she said. 

“Can’t you be nice to me for five minutes?” Maya sulked. 

“No,” Vanessa spat as she joined Charity.

Maya was like Jekyll and Hyde. She could play the nice act to whoever she liked but her true colours always shined brighter in the end. 

It didn’t take much for her character to chance. One comment on the wrong side of her and the monster came out. 

“You have no idea what you’re dealing with,” she said softly, almost intimidatingly but Charity could see what she was playing at.

“I think I do,” the top dog responded.

“I-I tell you what,” Maya pleaded. “I won’t tell anyone if you help me, please.”

There is it. The scared cat that tried to mask herself as a lion. The only real animal was the criminal inside her. She didn’t want to be in jail. The tough act was a ploy for the other prisoners to take pity on her.

But there was no fooling the Top Dog. 

“You don’t need protecting,” Charity whispered.

“But,” Maya stumbled, her eyes darting between the pair in front of her, looking for answers. “You know I’m a dead man walking in here.”

“The screws will look out for you,” Charity nodded before she paused. “I will, too, though.”

Maya breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, thank you!”

She tried to shake Charity’s hand but she pulled away. She didn’t shake dirty hands, and she wasn’t finished.

“I’ll look out for you in the corridors, in the yard, in the bathrooms, in my kitchen and in the community area,” she stated. “I don’t want to see you within fifteen feet of me, Vanessa or Tracy, Priya and Leyla for that matter.”

Maya’s shoulders dropped. She honestly thought she had them on her side.

“I don’t want to see you within fifteen feet of any of us,” Charity continued, her finger pointed at Maya. “You got that? Or the only place you’ll be is six feet under.”

Maya’s body shook with nerves. She nodded quickly and avoided eye contact, swallowing hard. Charity stepped away, wrapping an arm around Vanessa’s shoulders, she told her to get into her nightwear before instructing Maya to do the same.

“I suggest you get into that bed and fall asleep quickly. I don’t want you to be there when I wake up,” Charity demanded.

The next morning, Maya was already dressed and waiting at the door before McAllister opened them for the day at the crack of dawn. She hadn’t slept. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh. Hell hath no fury like Charity Dingle with the lowest of the low. No break time or sympathy for Maya. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	9. I Know A Bitch When I See One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the finish line... I'm overwhelmed how many people have read this! I never expected it so thank you :). 
> 
> I have no warnings for this chapter... just some confrontation. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“ _I can see it in my own reflection_

_Something funny is going on inside my mind_ ”

— Sound Of The Underground

* * *

“So you and Vanessa, hey?” Debbie asked when it came to dinner time. She had wanted to ask at breakfast but she had seen that the woman was sitting not far from the counter and didn’t want her to overhear. But lunch was in full swing and so far there had been not sign of Vanessa so Debbie took her opportunity. 

Charity nearly dropped the fresh batch of chips in her hands. She swallowed. “Excuse me?” 

“I haven’t really seen you since you moved cells,” Debbie replied. “What you’s got in there?”

Charity swapped the trays over before she responded. “Nothing. I also have a very important job running this prison, you know?”

“There hasn’t been trouble in weeks.”

“I know but I still have to keep an eye, don’t I?” Charity mocked. “What about you, daughter? Still thirsting over that bloke from C-wing?”

“Mother,” Debbie clenched her jaw. “I told you, Donny only likes the crackheads.” 

“Well, I can get rid of those _crazy horses_ for you,” Charity nudged Debbie in the arm. 

“You’re terrible,” Debbie rolled her eyes. 

“Who’s terrible?” Chas asked, walking in amongst the conversation. She had no interest in working but she did love a gossip. 

“Mum’s making bad jokes.”

Charity scoffed. “Oh, don’t pretend you don’t love them!” 

Chas pursed her lips. “They’re not as good as mine.”

Debbie rolled her eyes again. “ _Anyway_ , we were talking about Vanessa. What do you think of her?”

“The Vanessa that Charity’s fucking with?”

Charity dropped the utensil in her hand, she threw them up in the air, noises coming from her mouth that weren’t human. She quickly apologised to Ali who now had chips everywhere on her tray. “What gives anyone that idea?”

“I thought we put her off for life when she caught us,” Ruby nodded at Ali. She grinned at Charity, loving the perfect timing. 

“Why, what happened?” Chas asked.

“Diane was showing her to the showers and me and Ruby were.. you know,” Ali made a V with her fingers and put tongue between them to give the other women a visual. 

“Well, that’s no surprise,” Chas crossed her arms over her chest while Debbie gagged. 

Charity had to stop herself from laughing, remembering what was happening in the wash room earlier. She had to use her hand to cover her smile. 

“Look at that smile!” Ruby pointed right in Charity’s face.

All the women looked at her try compose herself. 

“What?” Charity said when she was serious again. “That’s funny! It doesn’t mean a thing. Good for Ali. For some of us it’s been a—“

“Oh. Mother. TMI,” Debbie waved her hand in Charity’s face, trying to get her to stop. Ali and Ruby laughed before they moved on. 

Moira, slightly further down the line had been listening to their conversation. She knew Vanessa had told her never to speak to her again but that didn’t mean she still couldn’t worry for the first time offender. She knew enough about Charity’s rep. She wasn’t going to see, who she still classed as a friend, be treated like a fool.

When she got in front of the Top Dog, she slammed her tray down. 

“Listen, I don’t know what your game is but don’t you get Vanessa messed up in your shit.”

Chas and Debbie went to defend their leader but Charity put her arm out to fight this one. She wasn’t about to let the woman who put Vanessa in jail tell her what to do.

“What makes you think I’m doing anything to her? We’re just cellmates, that’s all,” Charity lied but she didn’t need Moira sticking her nose in business that didn’t concern her. 

It’s not like she had been trying to patch up her damaged friendship with Vanessa. She had kept her distance and that pleased her, Vanessa didn’t need any more drama on her plate nor was she still comfortable being around Moira but Moira being Moira in Charity’s eyes, now thought it was her time to care about the woman’s life she ruined because it involved someone actually caring about her, not on Charity’s watch.

“She’s too good for you,” Moira replied. “If you get her in any trouble that stops her getting out of here, you’ll have me to answer to.”

“Says the bitch who put her in,” Debbie snapped back. 

Charity nodded slowly. “I’m really scared, Barton. Girls, serve her dinner and then get her out of here.”

Charity took her gloves off, she threw them in the bin under the counter and then walked towards the fridge to get desserts ready. She wasn’t going to watch her smug face eating. If she wasn’t protecting Vanessa, she would have had Chas put hair in her food but she didn’t want Vanessa to see that side of her. Not when Vanessa would tell her she should have just kept her distance, so that’s what she was doing.

* * *

Can you really be pushed past breaking point? 

Vanessa knew she had been close on more than one occasion since she had been Skipdale, but never enough for her to lose all sense of self-control. 

She had seen it’s possible and that is what scared her the most.

She had always seen herself as someone in control of her emotions. She was model student, never had an enemy in her life. She’d never truly lost her temper. 

Even growing up with Tracey, she was always the first to apologise if they got into a fight and acting like nothing had happened by teatime. 

But if there was anything the women in prison with her had taught her it was that everyone has one. That none of the women are in there because they have no self control. It’s not like what you read about men’s prison: they had fantasies, women had rejected them one too many times or they were asking for a fight. No, each of her cellmates had a story and their own reason.

Yes, some more plausible than others. 

Vanessa had come to understand Brenda had reached that point. She had forgiven Bob so many times, she was basically a doormat. No one had respect for her and she had learned her worth. Catching Bob with that younger woman was the best thing to happen to her. Of course, Vanessa saw murder as wrong, there was a million and one ways she could have ended the relationship but Brenda didn’t need her opinion. She was now surrounded by women who understood her struggle. 

Whereas Vanessa could understand Diane a little more. Not that she would ever dream of harming Johnny. There had been times where she wanted to shake the common sense into her little boy but she had the nurturing to understand he’s a baby that has to learn about the basic human qualities and that it’s her job to do so. But not every woman is made to be a mother. Unfortunately, for Bernice, it cost her her life for her mother to learn that lesson. Diane wasn’t a bad person. Vanessa had no doubt in her mind she would have made a great parent if she had been in a better place at the time or been raised differently.

The question at hand had been on playing on Vanessa’s mind since Maya had showed her ugly self. 

The past couple of days had been hard. She was trying so hard to keep her cool around her. Charity even had to calm her down on more than one occasion—something she never expected would happen, it was usually on the other foot but Maya hadn’t made it easy.

Every little comment, look and action rallied Vanessa. 

So it didn’t help when, much to her dismay at first, Moira came to her and told her she overheard Jessie and Maya talking in the yard. 

“What did she say?” Vanessa asked, her arms folded over her chest.

“They started about how they both were teachers in the Hutton and Emmerdale area and funny they didn’t know of each other like every teacher knows every other teacher? I don’t know,” Moira shrugged her shoulders. “I think she was just trying to make light conversation. Anyway, I heard Maya ask what Jessie thinks of in-school relationships.”

“And what?”

“Well, Jessie being Jessie, said there’s no law against pupils having relationships as long as you know, it doesn’t get physical,” Moira shrugged her shoulders. “It’s natural for teenagers to have crushes on each other.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Not Jessie, you idiot! Maya!”

“Oh! Well, I was getting to the point if you let me finish!” Moira said, mockingly. “She said, like, teacher-student things are illegal while they’re still at the school, obviously, and if he choose to go to six form, then it’s still not acceptable but otherwise, you can’t control what happens after he turns sixteen. But as his teacher, she should know better.” 

“And she clearly doesn’t.”

Moira pursed her lips. “When do you think it started?”

“I don’t want to think about it,” Vanessa shook her head.

“You don’t want me to tell you then?”

Vanessa shook her head again. She really didn’t want to. But then she thought about Charity and what she went through because of pedophiles who would rather act on their attraction than get help so she changed her mind and nodded, very slowly and sighed. 

“Go on, then.”

“He was fifteen.”

Vanessa felt her jaw clench. She tightened her fists, her blunt nails dug into her skin. “Paedophile.”

“Maybe that’s a bit extreme,” Moira said, narrowing her eyes. 

“No, it’s not!” Vanessa shouted, unable to control her temper.“You wouldn’t say that if it was the other way around.”

“Well, true,” Moira shrugged, “but that’s not the only thing I came to tell you.”

“Go on.”

Moira put her hands in her pockets and rocked on her feet before answering. “She’s telling the addicts if they need a fix, come to her. She has outside contacts.”

“No!” Vanessa pointed a finger at her. “No, I’m not having this. Where is she?”

She didn’t give her chance to answer, she turned on her heels quickly and walked as fast as her legs would take her. Moria started running after her.

“Vanessa, no! I really wouldn’t! Let Charity deal with it!” she shouted. “Vanessa!”

“She needs telling now, Moria!” Vanessa stopped to answer her, waving a hand in her direction. “Come on!” 

* * *

They found her where they suspected. On the ground floor, challenging the ladies to pool games. Vanessa was surprised there wasn’t an officer involved but it helped Vanessa out. Now she didn’t have to worry about Fenner pulling her away for being a disturbance. 

“Aye! Vanessa!” Kerry waved in her direction as they approached the table. “Come join us. You can play loser, okay?”

“You know what? I just might,” Vanessa smirked before turning her attention to Maya. “Play this loser right here,”

“Well… we don’t know that yet, do we, ‘cause we’re not finished,” Kerry said, confused, pointing out she had only two solids left compared to Holly—an inmate who looked older than her years due to a heroin addiction—who had six stripes still pot. There was no way Kerry was about to sacrifice her pending win. 

“She’s a loser, Kerry,” Vanessa said as she stepped closer to Maya, she looked up at her, merely inches a part. “A disgusting, low life loser who thinks it’s okay to nonce kids and take people like you for a mug as you all same to have forgotten what she said!”

“True,” Kerry mumbled, disgusted with herself. 

Maya scoffed. 

“Proud of yourself, are you?” Vanessa asked. “These women are strong, they try their hardest to beat their addictions every day and then pieces of shit like you come along and think you can say things to cover up what you really are.”

“And what’s that, Vanessa?”

“You know what you are! Acting all high and mighty in here like you shagged a young Brad Pitt and not a goddamn child!”

Maya tilted her head in thought, weighing out what had just been said.

“I’m even amazed a dyke like yourself can appreciate a man’s looks,” she said. “Then I remember you’re only sleeping with Charity for protection because poor little Vanessa only knows how to look after tiny animals.”

“You’re right,” Vanessa replied. “I know a bitch when I see one.”

“Wow, junior school insults,” Maya blinked rapidly. “Why didn’t I see it coming. I bet your son is real proud of you, isn’t he? Are you going to be proud of him when he gets a crush on his teacher, ‘cause he will, you know. It’s part of the job. Are you going to defend him or end up back in here?”

Any mention of Johnny made her emotional but she couldn’t let them get the better of her. She swallowed down the lump in her throat and gripped her teeth. 

“Going to prison again would be worth it if it rid this earth of scum like you!”

“That’s what you’re going to do, is it?” Maya asked, sarcastically. “Protect him, wrap him up in blankets so when the first girl shows him attention, he doesn’t know what to do? Or will he be gay ‘cause mummy give him daddy issues? Doubt he’s going to tell you when the P.E teacher made him pull down his trousers. Too ashamed… too embarrassed… at least Jacob was proud to say we had sex.”

Vanessa didn’t have time to think out the consequences of her next move. She reached over the pool table and grabbed the nearest ball and went for the taller woman but before she could cause any damage, Moria pulled both her arms back and Vanessa was drawn back into reality. 

She dropped the ball carelessly. Numb to her surroundings, she didn’t see Maya smirking like she had won as Moira walked her away from the scene, her hands tight on the smaller blonde’s shoulders.

“Do you ever want to get out of here?” she hissed. 

* * *

“Babe, what do you think you were doing?”

Moira had practically dragged Vanessa back to her cell. She threw her in before slamming the door behind her and taking Charity, who had been relaxing, reading a book having only finished her duties in the kitchen after the confrontation. She jumped to her feet when she saw a distressed Vanessa and equally furious Moira, her grip tight on the smaller blonde’s arm. Charity had told her to let go. Now Charity was stood opposite her, a supportive hand on her arm, hoping it would calm down the smaller blonde.

“It’s Maya! She just infuriates me!” Vanessa clenched her fists, tears filling at her eyes after holding them in for so long. “Kerry is going to be weak enough to take the drugs. She’ll overlook what Maya is for the fix. I can’t bear that! And as well, I’m looking out for you. She knows your rules.”

“It’s my job to protect you. Forget the drugs, everyone in here knows someone who can get them gear. Maya’s not the only one. Making sure people don’t forget she’s a nonce is more important.”

“She brought Johnny into it, Charity!” Vanessa sobbed, leaning into Charity’s chest and she instantly brought her into a hug, not caring about Moria’s presence. “Knowing what you went through makes me wonder what Jacob must be going through now and for her to coldly say it’ll happen to my son, I can’t handle it.”

“Okay,” Charity hushed her. She threw a wink Moria’s way and nodded her to leave; Moria took the hint. 

“It’ll be okay, Vee,” she kissed her head. “I promise.”


	10. The Governor Wants To See You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is here. I'm so glad people have took the time to read this and leave me comments. I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> WARNINGS: just the usual from Maya.

“ _Here I am, dirty hands, I don’t give a damn_ ”

— No Good Advice

* * *

“Oi!” 

Vanessa woke up to the thump of a fist on her door. She rubbed her eyes, sitting up she waited to see who it was. 

“Oi, sleepybones, it’s me!” Charity entered without permission, closing the door behind her. The smile on her face quickly dropped. “Babes, you look rough.”

Vanessa huffed. Always a way with words, did that one. 

“What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen?”

“Told the girls I had forgotten something, didn’t I? Really just wanted to see if you were awake,” Charity smiled. “You’re normally down there by now…”

She never had someone come visit her while at work or check on her before. She had gone to see them, drop off a lunch they might have forgotten but never the other way around. She could only recall one boyfriend who phoned or texted her during a lunch break and that was when she was fresh out of university. 

The sweetness had her smiling for a second, then she groaned while rubbing her temples.

She had hardly slept, thoughts of Maya had been playing on her mind. She wasn’t proud of herself but she also couldn’t stand and watch the woman be smug and try to brainwash the women the way she did. 

How quickly the vulnerable would flock to her for protection or their fixes without a second thought for Maya’s crimes. It made Vanessa’s blood boil, as a mother she couldn’t stand back and watch that happen. 

While also she wasn’t proud she had threatened violence. She hadn’t grown up a violent person. She stayed out of the fights at school. She was the pacemaker at work. t wasn’t in her nature to fight. 

But she had heard the stories of her cellmates, also all victims of sexual abuse in different ways and she couldn’t stand back and watch a sex offender groom even grown ups. 

For that, she didn’t regret her empty threats. Yet, here she was, morning on little to no sleep because of the remorse from acting out of character. While she knows Maya didn’t lose sleep before prison and she won’t while she’s down the hall, either. 

“Are you okay, Vee?” Charity moved to sit on the bed, grabbing one of her hands. She noticed the redness around her partner’s eyes. “You been crying?” 

“No,” Vanessa half-lied, shaking her head. “I didn’t sleep well, it’s okay.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t let me stay in your bed last night, you know. I don’t care what Mary Kay thinks.” Charity lifted Vanessa’s head up by her chin, meeting her eyes. She smirked, raising her eyebrows suggestively. 

Vanessa would but she doesn’t let her see that. Instead she grinned, pushing Charity away from her face. “Shut up.”

“Are you okay, really?” she asked, concerned. She held onto her arms. “You should have woke me if you couldn’t sleep.”

Vanessa sighed. “You had work.”

“Like that matters!” Charity threw her head back in frustration. “Now. Are we _really_ okay?”

Vanessa nodded.

Charity narrowed her eyes and tilted her head questioningly. She didn’t believe her.

“Yes,” Vanessa said this time more sternly. She breathed out. “It’s just Maya. She’s getting on my nerves but don’t worry.”

“Hmm.”

Charity wasn’t convinced but she wasn’t going to push her. 

“Look, I know I said I’ll watch out for her but it’s only because I don’t want someone getting their hands on her before she’s sentenced,” she said slowly, rubbing Vanessa’s arms to reassure her. “Bitches like her don’t deserve the easy way out. And to be fair, her being in here with us means I can really keep tracks on her.”

“I know. It’s okay,” Vanessa forced a smile. “Have you seen her this morning?”

“No,” Charity shook her head. “She must be keeping her distance where she can. She’s probably in the yard or something.”

“As long as she stays away from Tracy, I don’t care.”

“I’ve got it, babe, don’t worry,” she grabbed Vanessa’s hands and squeezed them in her own, hoping to reassure her. “Now, are we okay?”

“We’re okay.”

“Come on, then,” Charity said. 

Getting off the bed, she held her hand out the smaller blonde. “Get dressed then I’m taking you out for breakfast.”

Vanessa laughed properly for the first time that morning, she gripped the hand offered to her but didn’t pull herself up. She let herself enjoy the feeling for a moment. The feeling this crazy, badass, caring woman had chosen her. 

“What, to that five star canteen on the second floor?” she grinned. 

“Yeah,” Charity nodded, tugging on her hand. 

Vanessa finally stood. She stayed opposite but now she entwined their fingers.

“I know the place well. Good food. Hear the chef is great,” Charity smirked. 

Vanessa looked down at their hands. “Is she working today?”

“She is,” Charity frowned. “But she’s basically like the manager so she can get away with a few things. Which is why she’s going to treat you to a freebie.”

“I don’t have to pay?” Vanessa sounded surprised, knowing full well what was coming. 

“Bitch, this is prison. None of us are,” she laughed. “But…”

She pushed Vanessa away to get her to pick out clothes so they could get a move on.

“I know the other staff and might be able to convince them to give you an extra egg or something.” 

“An egg?” 

“Got all that protein and them vitamins in, ain’t they?” 

She watched how the muscles in Vanessa’s back moved as she took her shirt off. 

“Not when they’ve been fucking fried, you idiot,” Vanessa laughed, throwing the item her way.

Charity caught it quickly, caught Vanessa’s smell on it as it hit her face and she was also tempted to hide it under her own clothes to keep for herself but she thought maybe it was too early for that. Instead, she dropped it on the bed.

“Language, Woodfield!”

“Oh, shh,” Vanessa said once she was ready to go. “You’re worse.”

“We must be rubbing off on each other, aye?” Charity raised her eyebrow. “You’re swearing, confronting Maya and I’m waking you up in the morning and making sure you have the most important meal of the day.”

Vanessa smiled nervously. 

While Charity seemed to be enjoying her new found softness, Vanessa didn’t know how she felt about becoming a bitch. 

She pushed it to the back of her mind. It was dawning on her she was hungry now and Charity had been waiting a while. She quickly brushed her hair and threw it into a low ponytail. 

“Okay, I’m ready.” 

“About time!” 

Charity thought about grabbing her hand again but then she thought about the looks outside the room so instead she opened the door and waited for the smaller blonde leave.

“After you, ma’am.”

There Vanessa turned back to her usual sunshine self. She skipped out the cell as she said thank you.

Charity was sure she could get what was really the matter with Vanessa out of one of her girls.

* * *

They had a nice breakfast. Vanessa was almost certain the prison knew about her and Charity now. If walking in alone together wasn’t enough to turn heads, when Vanessa asked for no sausage with her fry-up.

“Like that is it now?” Chas had asked, her gaze quickly turned to Charity who held back a laugh. “Didn’t take you bloody long to change lanes.”

Truth was Vanessa just didn’t fancy it today, and those would have been her exact words if she hadn’t realise how even that could have been taken and she didn’t want to give them more material. She let them have their moment before Charity had them move to a table. 

Vanessa was sure Charity would tell her girls but she just wanted her to tell her before she did. She was happy, she didn’t want to be the subject of harsh comments. 

* * *

Later, they chilled out in Vanessa’s cell before the taller blonde had to go back to work for the lunch period. She didn’t make it hard for her to go. She didn’t want to appear clingy but she would have happily sat opposite her for hours. 

They did talk about the day before. Vanessa made the point that it wasn’t in her nature to attack anybody but she couldn’t sit back and do nothing. 

Charity understood that. Secretly, she was proud of the woman she _really_ liked but she had to maintain her image.

Vanessa promised it wouldn’t happen again. 

Their conversation was cut short when they saw Moria with her hands in her pockets, coming their way. She asked if she could talk to Vanessa. 

Vanessa winked at Charity, rubbing her back to let her know it was fine and Charity left them to it but not before she told Moira she was watching her every move.

“Are you okay? Moira asked when Charity disappeared downstairs. 

Vanessa nodded, biting her lip. 

“You’re not like this, Vanessa,” Moira frowned. 

“I know,” Vanessa sighed. “I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

Moira squeezed her shoulder. She wanted to hug her but she thought it would be too much.

“Look, I know we’re not each other’s biggest fan,” Moira said. “I am truly sorry you got mixed up in my mess but if you need someone to talk to, as an old friend, I’m here.”

Vanessa gave her a teary smile before she pulled her into a hug. It was about time they buried the hatchet. Neither of them were truly a guilty party.

“Thank you.”

* * *

Vanessa needed something to do. She thought about going outside to the gym for a bit, beat out some of the thoughts that still wanted to make it to the front of her mind, but then she saw Diane alone in her cell and it gave her an idea. 

“Hey, Diane,” she said, poking her head around the door. 

There she was, as usual, in her chair. 

Diane had been in her own world, watching closely as she crossed over her needles and lowly singing nursery rhymes to herself. 

She smiled at her company. “Hello, love.”

“Can I come in?” 

“Of course.” 

“What’re you making?” Vanessa asked, taking a seat on Diane’s bed.

“A rainbow jumper,” she held up what she’s done so far. “My Bernice loves rainbows. She was always pointing them out on our travels.”

“That’s cute,” she smiled. “You got any going spare? I could do with making my Johnny some things.”

“I do,” she put down her work to gather everything Vanessa would need, she thanked her. “You making a jumper, too?”

“Yeah. Won’t be as good as yours, mind,” Vanessa nudged the older woman’s arm. But it’s going to be Christmas by the time I get out of here. He’s going to need something.”

“Don’t be silly, love,” Diane replied. “You’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“I don’t—“ 

“Woodfield!” McAllister shouted. “What you doing in here?”

“Just knitting, sir,” she swallowed. 

“Jessie told me you’d be in here,” he said. “Come on, the governor wants to see you.”

“What?”

Vanessa rocketed up, she handed her needles over to Diane. 

Could it be? Could it be good news or was she seen threatening Maya? Nothing stopped Vanessa’s heart from beating out of her chest as Dom led her down to the office. 

* * *

It had been. Vanessa couldn’t believe it. It was the news she had been waiting for. She was granted an appeal. 

Back home in Emmerdale, her college and university best friend, Rhona, had been following her story through the papers and had been gathering evidence together that she took to a lawyer who, too, believed Vanessa had no part to play in Moria’s stash. 

She knew she should tell Charity first but couldn’t face her reaction. She didn’t know how she was going to tell Moria but she needed to tell Tracy. Let her know that although, she may be getting out, she’ll still support her sister. That she will visit when she can, explain everything to their Dad and see if Rhona can pass the lawyer onto her. 

She knew Tracy would be hanging around the ground floor, she preferred to keep herself busy by chatting to over inmates. 

But before she could get to Tracy, she passed Maya’s cell. She stopped in her tracks when she heard her talking. 

Vanessa did her best to stand out of view of the door, while having listening in on the conversation. Maya sounded angry and she could also hear the jagged breaths of someone else.

“Tell me what you did to him,” Leyla spat. “ _Now_!”

Maya had her pressed up against the wall and, yes, while she was scared, she was furious. Jessie had come to her about her and Maya’s earlier conversation, feeling it was in Leyla’s best interests to know, unaware who else had heard them. With her new found information, she had no choice but to confront her. 

The pervert was showing no remorse, she couldn’t see what she had done wrong. He was sixteen. Wasn’t that the age of consent in the United Kingdom? 

“He loved it, Leyla,” she said, lowly. “He practically begged for it, for me.”

“You’re lying.”

“Oh, no,” Maya shook her head. She bit her lip, just waiting to see how far she could push her poor victim’s mother. “He couldn’t get enough of me, love. You name it: hotel, my classroom, his bedroom, my car, we’ve done it.” 

Leyla swallowed hard before she used all her might to push the disgraced teacher away from her. Maya stumbled backwards but it wasn’t enough to knock her off her feet. 

Meanwhile, the confrontation had gained itself an audience outside the cell. Vanessa had to stop the other ladies from doing something by silencing them and have them listen in. Vanessa was waiting for a moment. 

“When…,” Leyla’s voice started to crack. “When did this begin?”

Maya pursed her lips in thought. “About fifteen.”

“You fucking nonce!”

“Oh, come on, Leyla!” Maya fought back. “Every fifteen year old boy wants to hook up with his teacher. Jakey just got lucky.”

“Don’t you _dare_ call my son that!” Leyla pointed a shaky finger at her, tears spilling at her eyes. “You took advantage of him! You ruined my perfect little boy!” 

“Ruined?” Maya had to laugh. “Darling, the only thing ruined is my life! _Our_ life together! You don’t know what we mean to each other! We were happy—I made him happy!” 

“All you made him was sick in the head!” Leyla drilled her finger into her temple. “Like your sick, twisted brain.” 

“What’s twisted is you can’t see Jacob is a grown man now. You expect him to choose a career for the rest of his life but he can’t choose who he wants to be with?”

Leyla started to close the gap between them. Vanessa’s jaw clenched. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Not when that person is his teacher!” she shouted. “You were suppose to protect him! Teach him! Not groom into your disgusting fantasies!” 

“ _Groom_?” Maya sounded surprised, as if she had done such a thing. “You’ll find grooming is what middle aged men do on the internet to get little girls to send them pictures.”

Leyla nodded and bit her lip, unsure of her next move. “So, you never asked for pictures, no?”

“Oh, god, no!” Maya shook her head, smirking. “I didn’t need to. He did that all himself. You know, you’d be surprised how big a—“

That was it, Vanessa saw nothing but red. Like someone had taken over her body once again, she lunged towards the offending blonde and with all the strength she had, she shoved her away from Leyla and wrestled her into a corner before she brought a closed fist directly to Maya’s face. The horrified screams of her inmates wasn’t enough for her to pull away as she watched the predator fall to the floor, blood pouring from her nose and mouth. 

“Vee!” Tracy grabbed her arms from behind and moved her away before she couldn’t do something else while Priya took hold of a shaken Leyla.

Charity rushed to Maya. Leaning down, she pushed at her face in hopes of a reaction and then checked for a pulse. When she couldn’t find one, she looked at Vanessa, horrified. 

“Vanessa, what have you done?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know what to write here because I'm scared what people think of the outcome so I'm going to run away. Bye!
> 
> But if anyone does what to know: Mary Kay is a real person. Her name is Mary Kay Letourneau if you want to look up what she did. Well known in the states. There's a Lifetime movie based on it. Disturbing...

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time more than three chapters in a very long time so be gentle and I promise it gets better.
> 
> There is song lyrics at the start of every chapter but they're for my girlfriend who I took I would find a way to put Girls Aloud in this! 
> 
> I have every chapter complete and don't have an upload plan. It all depends how this goes down.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed chapter one!


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